Revenge
by IveGotNoIdea
Summary: After killing Voldemort Harry leaves Britain for a year. Now he returns and his goal is to get even with people who betrayed him. Standard ELTH (Everyone Lies to Harry), AU after year six (summary inside), Manipulative Dumbledore/Weasleys, Cunning Harry.
1. Chapter 1

**Author Notes:**

**My writing still sucks, you have been warned.**

**I do not own Harry Potter.**

* * *

Story notes:

Cannon up to year 6, Dumbledore doesn't get cursed and lives, year 6 goes mostly same as cannon. Harry still breaks up with Ginny.

Year 7. Ministry doesn't fall and Trio stays at Hogwarts. Over the year they find horcruxes and destroy them with some help from Dumbledore. Dumbledore still doesn't train Harry. Voldemort attacks after exams when he learned from his spies about the hunt. Harry duels him, gets hit by killing curse and when Voldemort mocks everyone Harry gets up and stabs his back with sword. After that Harry leaves. During battle no one important from light side dies.

* * *

One year later.

Harry Potter entered Gringots bank in Diagon Alley look distinctively different from the one who left after Battle at Hogwarts, the difference was such big that Ronald Weasley, whom Harry passed while entering, didn't recognize him. New Harry Potter was 6'2" tall, had shoulder length black hair and of course green eyes. He didn't wear glasses and his scar was gone, courtesy of plastic surgery. He was wearing light tan from his stay in tropics. He was wearing muggle pants and jacket witch was open and showed sign on his t-shirt displaying Darth Vader in his force-choke pose and sign 'Join the dark side, we have cookies', Harry thought about wearing his 'I killed Dark Lord and all I got was this lousy t-shirt' t-shirt, but with that some wizards might have paid him enough attention to recognize him. Most important difference was that this Harry Potter was smiling and relaxed, something that couldn't be said about him a year ago.

Harry decided to approach one of the more important looking goblins, average teller wouldn't be able to help him.

"Good morning Sir or Madame" despite 5 years teaching about Goblin Rebellions Harry was never told how to recognize Goblin gender, maybe it was one of those 'every child in wizarding world (except Harry Potter) knows this' thing? "My name is Harry Potter and I recently returned to Great Britain, I would like to check state of my financial affairs. Could you provide me with that information?" Harry asked with cheerful smile, he knew he was supposed to be quite rich as both Potter and Black heir. While Harry didn't need those money he also didn't want them to go to people like Malfoys... or Weasleys for that matter.

"You are broke, anything else?" Goblin said without looking at him.

Harry's smile disappeared. They couldn't do this, could they? Was his first thought, He was an adult, he didn't leave any dispositions what to do with his wealth so Dumbledore or Ministry had no legal means to affect it... on the other hand, when any of those people cared about their actions being 'legal'?

"Well, I do remember having some galleons in my trust vault before my departure, could you explain what have happened to those money and any other money or properties I knew nothing about?" Harry remained polite, there was no reason to get angry at this Goblin, it wasn't his (or hers) fault that Ministry/Dumbledore where thieves.

"Your Trust Vault was confiscated to pay reparations to various parties injured in war, your properties and business were sold for the same reason. This law was passed by with support of nearly whole Wizengamot shortly after battle. Due to your death during said battle your will was activated and contents of your vaults were passed to those specified in that will. As far as I know new owners were not able to access those vaults as both are protected by blood magic witch for some reason still recognizes you as their owner."

"Let me guess, law stating that my short absence from mortal realm constitutes as death was also supported by nearly whole Wizengamot?"

"Yes."

"Including Chief Warlock?"

"Yes"

"As this was my will you are referring to, could you remind me to who I passed those vaults?"

This time Goblin had to get some papers before answering.

"Contents of both vaults were divided between members of Weasley family, Albus Dumbledore, Remus Lupin and Minerva McGonagall. Remaining money were to be spent on aiding rebuilding efforts and reparations. I find it quite interesting you can't remember contents of your own Last Will, Mister Potter."

Harry learned some things about Goblin during last year, and one of those things was to not imply foul play without good evidence, Goblins sticked to their rules... unless large bribe was involved and he was sure that bribe was paid as he never died during that battle, not to mention that he never wrote last will... Unfortunately insisting that Goblins cheated him somehow could have fatal consequences, with bribes involved Goblins could kill him by claiming he insulted their honor and Ministry who was beneficiary of his money would ignore his death.

"Well, with Voldemort and NEWTs in my last year I could simply forget those details. You have mentioned that those vaults still recognize me as an owner, right?"

"Are you asking me to allow you access to a vault that doesn't belong to you?"

And now they try 'beheaded for theft' approach, Gringots was waste of his time.

"No."

"Anything else?"

"No."

"That will be 3 Galleons and 7 sickles."

Harry paid and left the bank. Truth to be told he didn't care about that money, all he wanted were objects owned by his family that were stored inside Potter Vault. He learned in his 7th year that Potter Manor was destroyed during first war, but not before all objects (including large library) were safely stored in Gringots. He didn't know much about Black family heirlooms, but he suspected that Black's library was hidden somewhere else than Grimmauld Place 12, to put it simply that library was bit to small for such family as Blacks.

After his visit in Gringots Harry decided to walk around Diagon Alley, it was less than 15 minutes since he left the bank when Harry was approached by Mister Weasley.

"Hello Harry, nice to see you here, when did you came back?"

"Yesterday. You are not in the Ministry? Did something happened to your job?" Harry asked with faked concern in his voice.

"No, everything is fine. One of my friends mentioned that he saw someone looking similar to you so I went to check it. Why didn't you came to Borrow?" Sure they did, was Harry's first thought.

"well, I didn't want to impose upon you." And to drink any more Amortentia. Seriously, he could shrug off imperius course from VOLDEMORT, why did those idiots think that Amortentia would work on him? He decided to play along in his sixth year to avoid suspicions. At the end of the year he played 'I love you to much to put you at risk' card and promised that he will go back to Ginny after Voldemort is gone. Of course he never planned to fulfill that promise.

"No, don't worry about that, you are part of the family. You can visit any time you want, Ginny would love that. By the way Harry, what were you doing at the bank?" Harry noticed that Mr Weasley was little nervous when mentioning bank.

"I was trying to access my vaults, but goblins told me that Dumbledore and you have control over them." Mr Weasley eyes went wide at this revelation, he tried to say something before Harry stopped him. "I understand you did this to protect them from Ministry and appreciate the effort. I will speak with Dumbledore this week about this." Harry said in his best meek child voice, he berated himself for calling Dumbledore without any prefix but Mr Weasley apparently didn't notice that.

Mr Weasley asked Harry about his whereabouts and was surprised that Harry stayed in muggle world for the past year, he also mentioned that many 'concerned' people were looking for him, Harry appeased him by claiming he never met anyone looking for him and pointed out that he probably wasn't found because he stayed in muggle world. He also asked about his scar, Harry told him that it disappeared shortly after the battle, he omitted fact that it was because muggle surgery. After half an hour of small talk Mr Weasley said he has to go back to work and asked Harry to meet Headmaster to discuss some important matters, Harry agreed to meet Dumbledore at 10am next day in Leaky Cauldron. After saying goodbyes Harry left to Muggle London. He walked around London for some time to check if someone follows him. His suspicions were true, he noticed at least three people, two of them he recognized from Order meeting, third one was easiest to spot - someone with different face but same clothing and ability to slip on a level pavement meant only one person - Tonks.

Harry was prepared for that, he went to cheap hotel he was staying in, he checked in last day to be consistent with story he told, and went to his room. After he entered he checked his monitoring equipment, no one visited the room during his absence. He set up special microphones that will inform him if someone knocks to his doors or tries to phone him and apparated to his real room in Ritz Hotel.

* * *

The past

Before his vacations Harry knew that many people who were supposed to be his allies weren't honest with him. He noticed that in his sixth year when Slughorn of all people taught Harry detection charm which he used on all his drinks. Armed with new knowledge Harry checked some of his drinks, his discovery shocked him. First of all, his drinks had two doses of Amortentia, one keyed to Ginny, second one keyed to Draco Malfoy. Harry truly didn't know which one was worse. Besides Amortentia his drinks had loyalty potions keyed to Dumbledore, Ron, Ginny, Arthur, Molly and Twins, why someone was putting last one in his drink Harry didn't know. Next were some potions affecting occlumency barriers, potion to impede learning, one to remove sexual drive, anti-animagus potion (he didn't have time to become animagus, but apparently Dumbledore didn't want to risk it) and some potion reducing control he had over his magic. Obviously all potions weren't added to his every drink, but there were several times during year that all of those potions were in his drink making pumpkin juice a minor ingredient. Strangely it never affected the taste which prompted Harry to ask himself why potions given to him in hospital wing tasted like piss.

The only positive aspect of those potions was that after seven years of exposure Harry became immune to them. Apparently wizarding world never learned that extensive exposure to certain potions will allow person to build up resistance to their effects. Harry's ability to shrug off Imperius in fourth year wasn't due to his magical power, it was due to the fact that he was feed various mind altering potions for past several years and his mind build up resistance to mind altering effects thus allowing him to battle Imperius curse much better than average person. Unfortunately Harry also didn't knew that still thinking his immunity to potions was due to his ability to shrug off Imperius while truth was exactly the opposite.

After Harry learned truth he also learned that he has very little options available to him, with 'cult of Dumbledore' he couldn't as people for help as they would immediately go to Headmaster. Goblins sold their services to those who paid biggest bribes and Ministry would gladly help him... and throw him into Azkaban after he dealt with Voldemort. This left Voldemort, but even with Headmaster and his friends conspiring against him he couldn't join that monster. Harry refused that option not because Voldemort killed his parents or because he was mass murdering psychopath, those points did affect his decision, but because Voldemort was an idiot... Harry came to this conclusion in his seventh year after thinking about everything that happened before. Most of it was engineered by Dumbledore, but the fact was that Voldemort always went along those plans.

First year Harry had to save Philosophers Stone, a seventeen year old Harry saw that thing as obvious trap, somehow such knowledge eluded Evil Slytherin (they are supposed to be cunning, right? Thought Harry) Dark Lord and said Dark Lord fell for it.

Second Year Evil Slytherin Dark Lord tried to resurrect himself by possessing 11 year old Gryffindor girl, ignoring fact that there was full house of people loyal to him and his ideals. But even if he didn't want to show weakness in front of his old house, he could achieve his goal by... not doing anything. All that attacks with basilisk only brought attention to him and resulted in his horcrux being destroyed. If he simply waited and went to Chamber of Secrets for final stage of possession without leaving any messages no one would be any wiser. Sure, Ginny's disappearance would be noticed, but after a day or two which would be too late to save her.

Fortunately Harry was spared battling Evil Idio... Slytherin Dark Lord in his third year.

If two first years could be explained by eagerness to regain body in case of Quirellmort or teenage hormones in case of Diarymort, Harry's meeting with Dark Lord in fourth year couldn't. The whole plan had so many holes that one could fly a dragon through it. It first assumed that Dumbledore will go along with Harry being 4th champion, secondly it assumed that Harry will go along with being 4th champion, next Harry had not only survive but actually WIN the damned thing. Assuming Hogwart has anti-portkey wards preventing fake Moody from simply making a portkey and then throwing it at Harry to kidnap him it still allowed Plan B, namely Hogsmeade DOESN'T have such wards thus all Voldemort had to do was wait for first Hogsmeade weekend to get Harry Potter.

This was enough to convince Harry that Voldemort was complete idiot, fifth year when Harry, his team and TWELVE Deatheaters walked into Ministry and got to Prophecy hall undisturbed was only icing on a cake, after all - if THEY could do that what stopped Voldemort from doing the same? Or using polijuice... or glamours... or invisibility cloak... or sending someone to poke the damned prophecy with a stick to drop it into a bag, possibilities are endless yet Voldemort choose most difficult one.

Sixth year was not even worth mentioning, why they went with this plan when over the years multiple Deatheaters, dementors and one escaped convict walked into the school undisturbed Harry didn't know.

But unless Harry somehow managed to send himself into his eleven year old body he couldn't change the past. All he could do was to prepare for future and only viable plan came up with in his seventh year was to kill Voldemort, presumably after his NEWTs so Headmaster would have hard time to convince anyone that Harry had to stay at Hogwarts. With Dark Lord gone and his education complete Harry would have to be considered an adult thus limiting Dumbledore's options regarding him. He wasn't an idiot and knew that Headmaster wont give up, but Harry hoped death of Voldemort and celebrations accompanying it will buy him enough time to escape before Dumbledore manages to organize headhunt for him. With this plan in mind he made sure to be overheard after NEWTs by Draco Malfoy when discussing horcruxes with Hermione thus forcing Voldemort to attack Hogwarts to retrieve Ravenclav Diadem, with Voldemort's previous record it was obvious that he will use frontal attack rather than subterfuge...

During his studies of horcruxes Harry discovered one in his scar. Destroying it was ridiculously easy, Harry asked Madam Pomfrey about basilisk venom effects on him, he claimed being afraid of poisoning by Voldemort's agents, she had told him that after second year he is immune to basilisk venom and quite possibly other poisons. All was left for Harry to do was go to Chamber of Secrets and stab his scar with basilisk's fang. After that he finally understood Dumbledore's reluctance to train him, in Dumbledore's plans Harry had to die to destroy this horcrux thus Harry had fake his death to ensure that Dumbledore won't accuse him of being possessed by Voldemort and kill him 'for the Greater Good'.

Whole plan was easier than Harry expected. Apparently Killing Curse has certain weakness that probably was never exploited - it can only kill ONE thing at a time and more importantly it doesn't care if said thing was transmuted. Harry exploited this by transmuting some spiders into shirt and robes thus giving him ability to survive two Killing Curses. Due to Voldemort favoring Killing Curse during battles it wasn't hard to get hit with it to fake his death. He even came up with some sad story explaining it, something about meeting his parents and Sirius in King Cross station and having choice to come back due to Voldemort using his blood during resurrection ritual, it made no sense so wizards will believe it.

After Battle he left to Gringots and withdrew nearly 10 thousand galleons from his Trust Vault, there was still some money left but he couldn't take more without his Magical Guardian approval. That much money might not last him for long if he wanted to travel the world, fortunately Harry had solution for that. Using drills in his uncle's factory he destroyed runes on galleons that hide them from muggles and prevented them from being melted. Now Harry had about 4 to 5 million pounds in gold... that was enough to travel the world in luxury, something he always wanted to do. Getting emancipation papers from Dursleys and passport to travel wasn't particularly hard.

* * *

Present

After visiting Gringots as himself and confirming his suspicions he decided to go with his plan, after all there was small chance that Dumbledore would leave him alone witch was fine with Harry, true several months of planning and week of actual work will go to waste but not having to meet any of those people would be certainly a bonus.

As for revenge, his options were rather limited. He had two seats in Wizengamot but he lacked any skills or connections to properly use them, it's not that he could just walk in into session and announce 'Hey people, I'm creating new political block, we will be moderates between Dumbledore's Light Idiots and Malfoy's Dark Inbreeds, who wants to join?', more polite and refined approach required skill and time, Harry didn't have either.

Using law was again futile, Gringots worked for those who will pay bigger bribe and he was sure that person was Dumbledore (or Malfoy). Ministry was even worse, those who couldn't be bought will simply ignore all Dumbledore's crimes claiming something along the lines of 'but he is Dumbledore', 'Dumbledore knows what he is doing' or Harry's favorite 'if he did that it had to be for the Greater Good'. This forced Harry to do everything by himself.

During previous week Harry had placed surveillance devices in Hogwarts, Burrow, Leaky Cauldron, Gringots and Grimmauld Place (this one proved to be unnecessary as only he could access that place), the whole 'technology doesn't work around magic' was myth, there were wards that affected technology but either special charms or electronics that was radiation-hardened could work within such wards. Now he checked his laptop to see reactions to his return, right now Dumbledore's has called everyone for a meeting in his office at 8pm. Having some time Harry apparated back to his fake room and went to the city to buy some food and get some movies to watch, he did that only to keep up appearance that he is staying in that cheap hotel. Order had to rely on passive surveillance as Harry placed wards in his room preventing magical eavesdropping and using devices such as Moody's eye. After returning he placed all items to look like he eaten there and left to Ritz for dinner.

The meeting wasn't very interesting, Dumbledore was told that Harry's story is true and told his agents to keep their eyes on him. He also changed meeting place due to Hogwarts being closed for next week. Unfortunately Dumbledore didn't do Villain Monologue so Harry could only react to things Headmaster already did.

While having his meal he also noticed that Molly has informed Ginny about his return and ordered her to visit him. During her visit Ginny was supposed to give him lust, fertility and love potions to make sure that they have sex and conceive a child forcing Harry to marry her. She also took fertility potion herself to increase chances of conception. Harry only laughed at it, purebloods were so predictable.

In this case Harry planned to use pureblood customs against them, according to those customs girl who slept with someone else than her future husband lost her chances on marrying 'proper pureblood', her choices were limited to muggleborns or some half-bloods who didn't care about that. Only exception to that rule was if girl was pregnant in which case father of a child was obliged to marry her. Harry took anti-conception potion and neutralization potion, for next 12 hours no potion would affect him, he also applied anti-conception charm to himself. After those preparations he went to his secondary hotel.

He forgot that Ginny was typical female and it took her close to two hours to get ready, Harry spent that time watching movies he got himself, when she appeared in front of his doors Harry decided that the time was well spent, she certainly did look gorgeous, she was wearing white sundress, straw sun hat, purse and apparently high heels, Harry never saw her wearing those. He was not an expert on make-up, but he knew she was wearing some as her freckles were barely visible.

"Ginny? What? How did you find me here?" Harry asked with fake surprise in his voice.

"Hello Harry, my friend saw you entering this hotel, won't you invite me in?"

"Oh, yes, sure come on in." Playing shy, nervous teenager was bit annoying but people who knew him expected him to act like this. "Sorry it's mess like that, I didn't expect guests."

"Harry, are you a wizard or not?" Ginny asked with some laugh in her voice.

"Uhm... I never learned household charms." Which was truth, he also never bother to learn them as he was staying in expensive hotels that provided room service. Hearing his excuse Ginny took out her wand and cleaned his room with several spells.

"Would you like something to drink? I only have muggle drinks but I think I had some orange juice."

"Orange juice is fine." Harry got her juice and choose Coke for himself, he loved that drink, not because of taste but because very few potions survived contact with it, not that Ginny would know this. Ginny's drink was laced with slow working sleep potion, after all both sides can play 'potion in drink' game.

"So... uhm... what brings you here?" He took a sip and noticed distinctive taste of destroyed potion.

"Harry, everyone missed you so much, why did you leave?"

"Well, I just killed Voldemort. Everyone was so happy about it while only think I could think of was that I just killed someone, I didn't know if you and everyone else would still want to be friends with a killer."

"Harry, no one was holding that against you. And... did you want to be only a friend or..."

"Well... now that Voldemort is gone I was hoping we could be something more than friends."

"Oh Harry." Ginny jumped at him and started kissing while leading him towards bed.

"Wait, are you sure we should do this? I don't know any charms." Harry asked her.

"Don't worry, I took a potion." After that they continued to bed.

Harry was little disappointed, he heard that redheads are wild in bed and that theory was proven right during his travels, unfortunately Ginny appeared to be an exception.

Now that Ginny was asleep Harry went along with his plan, first part was to take Ginny's innocence and prevent her from ever marrying 'proper pureblood' unless... that was part two of his plan. Harry knew that Draco Malfoy wasn't faithful to Pansy, his future wife, it wasn't hard to find and infiltrate place where Draco went to 'relieve his stress', in there Harry has stolen sample of Draco's semen, same sample that was now injected into Ginny. The entire act disgusted Harry, but he still went along with it, if Ginny wanted a rich husband he would give her a rich husband. Ten minutes later he cast special charm used by purebloods during weddings to prove that wife was faithful to future husband, her body gave red glow which indicated that she was pregnant with someone else child, if Harry was father glow would be white to indicate faithfulness. Second charm cast on Draco's hair and Ginny's body shown that Draco is the father. To increase his chances of success he has placed several of Draco's hairs dyed black in his brush. Finding special spell to clean hairs lying around wasn't even hard, single visit in Borgin & Burkes and Harry had nice book about evidence removal and... cleaning.

After she woke up they have talked for a while, Harry told her his fake story in which he was traveling around Europe, he told her he was earning money for his travels doing some muggle jobs, he wanted to keep up the 'humble poor hero' appearance. Harry mentioned meeting with Dumbledore and that he will ask him to retrieve something special from Potter's vault, this news made Ginny very happy. After saying their goodbyes Harry checked his bathroom and noticed that his brush has no hairs in it. "Everything is going according to the plan." Following smirk would make Draco Malfoy jealous if he saw it. Harry apparated to his apartment in Ritz, it was time to go after his next target - Goblins.

Harry hold several grunges against goblins. First one was ignoring his parents Last Will. While Last Will in the Ministry can be challenged by Wizengamot, if it's placed in Gringots it is outside Ministry's and Wizengamot control, yet said Will was blocked by Dumbledore most likely after giving Gringots significant bribe. The second one was things he learned in his seventh year, apparently Gringotts was required to inform him about his status as a Heir of Potter Family when he was eleven and give him special ring identifying him as heir. Since that Gringotts was required to provide him with financial reports at least once a year. In both cases his Magical Guardian had nothing to say about it as according to law it was business conducted directly between him and bank. He couldn't do anything about his finances without Magical Guardian approval, on the other hand his Magical Guardian also couldn't do much without his approval, only reason that most money in Potter and Black vaults was still there. True, nobody besides him could enter those vaults but part of those vaults were charmed to allow incoming and outgoing money transfers, according to what he read it worked similar to his Trust Vault, vault had specified sum of money and if at certain day (usually 1st January) there was surplus of money they were moved by those charms to 'main' part of the vault or were moved from 'main' part of the vault if there was shortage and 'main' part of the vault had available founds. It was designed as safety mechanism to prevent failing or dishonest business (and playboy heirs who lacked full access) from draining vaults overnight without having to set up separate vault for them. Obviously now that vaults were under Dumbledore's control he most likely took out as much as he could, but without actually entering them Dumbledore was limited to that set amount of money. Thus Dumbledore needed Harry or his heir to get inside those vaults. Last thing was obviously his fake Last Will.

Harry's plan was pretty much replay of Quirellmort plan 8 years ago, not that Harry knew this. Both of them has used fake identity to establish vault and placed Vanishing Cabinet inside it, only difference was that Voldemort used stealth and his superior knowledge to get inside his target vault, while Harry planed to use brute force in form of C4.

Harry hid second Cabinet in abandoned building in outskirts of London, he got to that place using combination of taxi and public transport. He doubted that Goblins will be able to track Cabinet, but even if they did find it they would be left in dark as he left no magical trace to follow. At midnight Harry entered Cabinet and was transported to high security vault in Gringots. There he used his key to leave vault, Goblins never came up with timed locks that open only during bank's working hours. He had his Cloak, Firebolt, bag full of explosives, and set of charmed bags for loot. His Holly-Phoenix wand was left in Hotel, here he took some random wand bought in Knockturn Alley using his fake identity, it wasn't perfect match but it was enough for what he planned.

Several days earlier he impersonated Dumbledore and asked Gringots to provide him with account numbers of various people whom he wanted to rob, he included Potter, Black and Longbotton among those as he planed to rob himself to prevent Dumbledore and Order from getting contents of his vaults. Neville's Vault was included because Harry didn't like him. Despite their parents being friends and their families being allies Neville never helped Harry in any meaningful way, like teaching him the potion detection spell (which Neville knew as a Heir of major family, Harry even saw him using it several times, fortunately Slughorn taught Harry wandless version of this spell, after all it's not polite to wave wand over food and drinks during parties...) or supporting him in Wizengamot during his trial before 5th year and finally supporting Dumbledore's law to steal Harry's money. Harry didn't care if Neville supported it because Dumbledore's convinced him it's 'for the Greater Good' or because he had his own agenda.

Now he traveled inside the bank on a broom, when he arrived to his target vault he placed explosives next to the wall and surrounded it with silencing charms, wizards and goblins ignored simplest solutions - door to the vaults are state of the art artifacts, walls are simple stone with some durability charms, nothing that C4 couldn't defeat. After blowing up the wall he walked into vault and summoned it's contents into his bag leaving stuff with anti-summoning charms, he didn't want to waste time on grabbing such things as most was cursed anyway. Clearing single vault took him less than ten minutes. During this single night he robbed over thirty vaults, besides his and Neville's vaults he robbed people who wronged him somehow like Malfoy's, Fudge, Umbridge, Dumbledore and Ministry... rest belonged to various ex-Deatheaters who escaped Azkaban by paying bribes. Before leaving Harry has cast one last charm...

He destroyed second Cabinet with explosives and went back to his hotel, he even had time to get some sleep. In the morning he skipped breakfast, apparated to his second hotel and went to Leaky Cauldron to meet Dumbledore.

After arriving he noticed both men sitting at table in the corner.

"Good morning Professor Dumbledore." Harry kept his polite and shy tone when speaking to both men.

"Good morning Harry, I'm happy you decided to return to Great Britain." Of course Dumbledore is happy, with Harry in Britain he can finally access Potter and Black Vaults.

"I'm curious, what did you want to discuss with me professor?"

"Well, there is matter of your miraculous survival during Hogwarts Battle and your disappearance, why didn't you contact anyone?"

And so Harry went with his story, how he found himself standing in King Cross station after being hit with Avada Kedavra, how he met his parents and Sirius and how they told him that they were pride of him and that they loved him, typical touchy story from cheap romance. Next Harry went with same story he told Ginny - after killing Voldemort he was afraid that everyone will hate him for killing someone. When asked about his travels he claimed visiting muggle France, Spain and Italy, he spent most of the time working for a living as he didn't know how to exchange Galleons he took from his Trust Fund. After a year he decided to come back claiming that living as a muggle wasn't for him, this made Dumbledore very happy.

"Well, this concludes my story, what happened in Britain after I left?" Harry was curious what story will Dumbledore feed him.

"I wish to say things were better after your defeat of Voldemort, but I cannot." Dumbledore started. "Most Deatheaters claimed to be under Imperious curse, with their money and votes in Wizengamot they managed to avoid Azkaban. Unfortunately this was only the beginning. Lucius Malfoy with Minister's Scrimgeour help proposed a notion that your departure is actually a betrayal and that your vaults and properties should be confiscated by Ministry to aid rebuilding efforts. I managed to make a deal with Minister, Potter and Black properties were sold and money will be used in rebuilding country, while Family Vaults were divided between people listed in your Last Will." It was almost believable. Almost. Firs of all Deatheaters were left alone because Dumbedore and neutrals didn't want to put so many Wizengamot members no trial, no bribes were needed, purebloods watch for each other. Secondly it was Dumbledore who proposed selling Potter and Black properties to aid rebuilding efforts, by rebuilding he meant 'fixing purebloods homes and business', muggleborns and half-bloods had to sell their business as they lacked money for repairs. Lastly it was Dumbledore who proposed law that gave him and his cronies control over Harry's vaults, his justification was that 'mere half-blood shouldn't be given such precious artifacts'.

Harry learned about this by using his alter-ego and asking Ministry to provide him transcripts from Wizengamot sessions after Voldemort's death. At first Ministry was unwilling to do this, difficulties disappeared when Harry mentioned that he is journalist from Australia writing article about 'enlightened' government of Great Britain, after all it is Ministry's duty to show those primitives how real politic is done.

"I cannot say I understand politics, but I'm happy that Malfoy's and Ministry didn't get anything. I'm fine with those money being used in helping people."

"That's really mature of you Harry."

"Goblins told me that I need you with me to access Potter Vault, I would like to retrieve something. It's a gift and..."

"Of course my boy, let's go to Gringots."

When Harry and Dumbledore approached Gringots they noticed small crown in front of the bank, some of the people were arguing with goblins. Harry could hear people demanding to access their money, he couldn't hear what goblins were telling. Dumbledore immediately went through crowd to speak with goblins, Harry followed curious what kind of excuse goblins came up with.

"I am Chief Warlock and I demand to know why bank is closed." Dumbledore tried using his authority.

"I know who you are Dumbledore, bank is closed because we have unscheduled security upgrade." Goblin answered.

"You cannot just close bank! Ministry won't allow it!" Some random wizard shouted.

"I agree, our treaties require bank to be open during week. If you do not open bank Ministry will require compensation for each day the bank was closed." Dumbledore continued.

"If you read all those treaties you would know that Gringots is allowed to be closed any time for several reasons, security upgrade is one of them."

"But why this is unscheduled? Couldn't you inform us several weeks before? If you did that we could avoid this entire situation." Dumbledore suspected that Goblins actually did that, but no one in Ministry paid any attention to the note, saying this he put blame on goblins and could get some favors from ministry employee who ignored Gringot's note.

"Listen wizard, we do not have to explain our security to you, Gringots is closed, it's not against treaties, go home." After those words goblins entered the bank.

'You-know-who should have killed all those monsters' or 'Stupid creatures, how they dare refuse proper wizards? They should be happy we didn't exterminate them' were common complaints that Harry heard.

"I'm sorry Harry, maybe tomorrow we will be able to go to vaults."

"Maybe."

"Do you have a place to stay?"

"Yes, I'm living in a small hotel in muggle London, it's not far from Leaky Cauldron."

"What about your plans?"

"I wanted to do some sightseeing in London, I never had a chance to do that."

"That's good. If you want to meet me come to Leaky Cauldron, I'm staying there for rest of the week." Dumbledore started explaining seeing Harry was puzzled by him staying outside Hogwarts." Hogwarts is going through fumigation to clean it from pests, even House-elfs and ghosts have left the castle for this week."

"I will be going then, good bye Headmaster."

Harry truly wanted to see London, obviously Dumbledore's men still followed him during entire day. He returned to his second hotel late evening and stayed there in case Ginny wanted to visit again, some sex was better than no sex. Unfortunately Ginny didn't come.

After apparating to Ritz Harry put on his disguise and apparated to Daily Prophet where he searched for some reporter and gave her an envelope, before reporter could ask him what's inside Harry apparated back to his hotel.

Harry gathered equipment for tonight mission - robbing Hogwarts. His return to Britain was timed to match time of the summer when Hogwarts is completely empty, if he didn't come this week he would have to wait for next year to do all things he planned and second event that Harry planed to use won't be happening next year.

For this night he had scuba gear with special mask that allowed him to speak, he decided against simple gas mask as he didn't know if magical fumigates will be filtered by it. Obviously he had his alter ego's wand, invisibility cloak, bags to hold loot and most important tool to defeat Hogwart's 'impenetrable' wards - 5 meter long, 1 meter diameter thick steel pipe, which was currently shrieked.

To see why he needed such tool one has to understand basics of warding. Modern wards wouldn't be fooled by such primitive means, but Hogwarts wards weren't modern... British wizards loved their tradition and didn't bother to upgrade wards in a 'safest place in Britain', the result was that it took Deatheaters less than 10 minutes to bring those wards down. After such event normal people would notice that maybe upgrade was necessary, but British wizards were far from normal and if weakness of Hogwarts wards was mentioned it was explained by Voldemort using his Dark Lord super powers to bring them down, while in reality Voldemort didn't help because he wished to preserve his strength for upcoming battle. Now the problem with Hogwarts wards is that they work as magical version of 'energy shield' common in various non-magical sci-fi shows, the wards have up to three meters thickness and are generated from central point over the castle. It is possible to bypass them by using underground passages as they do not extend through solid matter like earth or... 5 meter long steel pipe, obviously they do not block solid matter from moving through them.

Harry entered castle under his cloak and went to library, inside he started to work. He put silencing charms to prevent anyone from hearing alarm system in Restricted Section (books started screaming when someone unauthorized took them from shelves) and started summoning books to his bags. Whole robbery lasted for about two hours. After library Harry went to headmaster's office, he has learned password with his listening devices during previous week. Inside office Harry finally noticed something - the walls were empty, portraits were taken down, even Sorting Hat was gone. This certainly made things easier for Harry, due to his observation he knew location and password to Dumbledore's private library and his quarters. Harry quickly summoned contents of headmasters library, he wasn't Hermione, he could check those books later. Inside Dumbledore's private quarters he has found various artifacts of unknown origin and function, rather that trying to figure out their function he summoned everything. Harry noticed that he has still two empty bags... with this in mind he started summoning furniture from office and bedroom.

Harry returned to his hotel. He was a bit disappointed. When he came up with those goals he kind of expected that robbing Gringots will be something like impersonating someone important to get in, fighting Goblins inside, maybe even stealing a dragon and using it to escape... in reality most difficult part was obtaining vault numbers and he did that by using non magical make-up to impersonate Dumbledore and simply asked... Even stealing Hufflepuff Cup was done without Harry or any of his allies having go to into Gringots, they have captured Bellatrix Lastrange and convinced her (after obliviating the capture from her mind) that Voldemort wants the Cup back, it's good to have Metamorphmagus that can look like Dark Lord, pity he didn't came up with it during his fifth year.

In the morning Harry put on his alter ego disguise and went to Leaky Cauldron to see effects of his yesterday trip to Prophet, inside pub he could see that trip was success, people were discussing this new Dark Wizard - Lord Nabilious. Harry bought Prophet and on the entire first page was picture made by him inside bank, picture showed large flying sign "Lord Nabilious was here", under the picture was information that it was taken inside Gringots. Harry had to muster his all self control to not laugh in front of all people in pub. He opened newspaper and started reading.

**New Dark Lord Strikes At Most Secure Place In Wizarding World**

**Gringots Robbed**

**by Randomina Reporterus**

Harry only skimmed through text, Prophet claimed that Gringots was attacked by hundred Dark Wizards led by Dark Lord Nabilius, their goal was to get founding for their campaign of evil. The reporter had insinuated that Lord Nabilius is even more powerful than previous Dark Lord You-Know-Who, after all YKW never attacked Gringots like this, again Harry was close to laugh at that - Voldemort never bothered to steal from Gringots because his supporters could simply GIVE him all the money from most of those vaults, but Harry will never say that to anyone. Rest of the articles were complaining about Ministry not doing anything to to protect finances of British people, complaints about Gringotts for allowing Dark Wizards to steal from them and even complaints about HIM for not killing new Dark Lord. The Wizarding World needed new Chosen One and Harry was planning to give her to them.

Harry left Leaky Cauldron and went back to continue his charade of sightseeing in London. During that time he was constantly checking his camera placed in Leaky Cauldron looking for Dumbledore, finally during late evening Dumbledore came to cauldron for a dinner. Harry quickly went to toilet, faking some digestive problems. Inside stand he placed small tape recorder with sounds imitating his stay in toilet. After that he drunk polijuice, changed his clothes and apparated away.

* * *

Inside Leaky Cauldron Dumbledore saw Trelawney entering the pub, he didn't want to deal with this old fraud right now, she would of course claim that she foresaw everything, but this was his first meal today and in half hour he was supposed to visit Gringots with Minister and large Auror force, better ignore her ravings and finish the meal.

"Ahh... Headmaster. hic How good to see you, did you read hic the Prophet? My Inner Eye saw hic all those events, but I couldn't prevent them hic as it's forbidden for those who posses True Sigh to hic interfere with mortal hic affairs. hic." Trelawney was obviously drunk, he could smell alcohol from several meters away.

"Good day professor. It's a pity you couldn't warn us." Being polite didn't cost him anything.

"Tom, do you..." Trelawney suddenly stopped, Dumbledore looked at her and noticed that she was now in trance.

_'The one with power to vanquish Dark Lord arrived_

_born from the mud on the day pirates talk_

_born from the mud forged into third part of gold_

_she shall gain power to vanquish Dark Lord as a white slave_

_and vanquish Dark Lord as it is a power he knows not_

_the one with power to vanquish Dark Lord arrived'_

"... have any more hic sherry? What? Why is everyone hic looking at me? I know you want to learn the future, but I cannot hic betray those secrets to week minded people." Tom put a bottle on bar."Oh, thank you. Good day hic everyone." Everyone was watching as Trelawney went upstairs back to her room.

* * *

As soon as Harry disappeared from sight he drunk potion to end polijuice, put his cloak on and went back to see effects of his 'prophecy'.

Downstairs people were discussing the prophecy, wondering who could be the new 'Chosen One', with so many people there were multiple interpretations, only several things were certain - new 'Chosen One' is female and she will deal with Lord Nabilius. Many people went to Dumbledore asking him about his opinion, Harry saw Dumbledore standing and silencing everyone with magnified voice.

"I know person mentioned in the prophecy, do not fear I will ensure that she will save Magical World from this new threat." With those words Dumbledore apparated.

Harry also left, he went back to toilet an continued his day in London. Before evening he went to Diagon Alley and bought some books on pureblood weddings from Flourish & Blotts. To avoid crowd he eaten in muggle London and returned to his fake staying place to 'study' the books.

Next day Harry went to Diagon Alley as his alter ego and bought Daily Prophet, the picture on first page showed Gringots littered with Goblin bodies and title '**Massacre At Gringots**', Daily Prophet claimed that Lord Nabilius returned last night to finish the job. Harry knew the truth, he has learned it from his surveillance placed inside bank - after finding out scale of robbery top management decided to run, before escaping they have emptied several large vaults left alone by Harry. Before day ended lower management decided to do the same knowing that they will be used as scape goats. After that rest of the goblins started mass exodus from bank, without anyone to suppressive this many fights brook out and about half of the Gringotts goblins perished in massive free-for-all battle. Those who survived have grabbed contents of last vaults and fled. Within a single day every Galleon, Sicle and Knut stored in Gringots was gone. Harry didn't plan on sharing this information with wizards, if they thought that Lord Nabilius is so powerful they will want new 'Chosen One' to deal with the problem, the new 'Chosen One' was... Hermione Granger.

Harry neither knew when nor why did Hermione join conspirators, he did know one thing - Hermione ALWAYS claimed that Dumbledore knows what he is doing and that they should follow the Headmaster. Hermione didn't have potions in her drinks, Harry checked for that, she also wasn't put under Imperius (it can be dispelled by simple _Finite Incantem_, another thing ignored by wizards in Britain). This meant that she betrayed him from her own will. How much Dumbledore and Weasleys told her? Probably not too much, only things like 'it's for his own good', 'what you are doing is for the Greater Good' and other propaganda like this, with Hermione's love for all authority it was enough to betray her friend. Harry would love to see her reaction to the news, will her love for authority wins and she will agree to be used as prostitute or will she grow a backbone and refuse thus forcing Dumbledore to use Imperius? The answer didn't matter, before end of the week Hermione will be in servicing men in a brothel somewhere in Britain. Harry even planned to visit her, his words 'you are like my sister, Hermione' were something that Boy-Who-Lived would say, Harry Potter saw Hermione as very attractive girl and now woman.

He visited his second hotel and informed manager that he doesn't wants to do some reading and asks to not be disturbed, he did that loud enough for his watchers to hear. After that Harry grabbed his broom and invisibility cloak and left to Hogwarts, if everything went according to the plan there will be some nice fireworks to watch.

* * *

HMS Tireless, Trafalgar-class nuclear submarine

Somewhere on Atlantic Ocean

"Target coordinates entered, we are ready to fire."

"Fire one." Entire ship felt Tomahawk missile being fired.

"Fire two. Fire Three. Fire four." Within a minute four missiles has left the ship and streaked toward their target in Scotland.

"Sir."

"What is it ensign?"

"What did we just bombed? I triple checked the coordinates and there is no polygon out there, sir."

"Apparently paper pushers wanted to kill two birds with one stone, our target is old nuclear shelter that has some construction faults making it to expensive to maintain thus it has to be demolished and we need a target to see how good our missiles are. Does this answer your question ensign?" They didn't know that entire bunker was made up by Harry, after mentioning costs of demolition and costs of maintaining it bureaucrats themselves came up with idea of using Tomahawk missile test as a 'cheap' demolition crew.

"Yes sir, thank you sir."

"How are our missiles doing?"

"They are following assigned fly route."

Several minutes later.

"Impact in ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, wha? uhm... impact, on target."

"What happened?"

"I don't know sir, it looked like missiles were blinded by EMP but according to GPS we hit the target."

"Not our problem ensign, prepare copies of all the data, we will send it to Americans, it's their toys we are using."

"Of course sir."

**(A/N please have in mind that I do not have any knowledge about proper military language, procedures, ranks etc.)**

* * *

Hogwart Caste, Scotland

Harry saw streaks on sky approaching the castle, using four missiles was probably an overkill but he wanted to be sure. Several seconds later Hogwart School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was gone. At certain point the castle was like home for Harry, unfortunately it became prison during his later years. It's reputation as 'best magical school in the world' was also false, even taking only ICW (which consisted only Europe, despite it's 'international' name) schools into account Hogwarts was second at best, outside Europe quality of education at Hogwarts (and other European schools) was jokingly said to be between education given by group of crazy monkeys and no education at all. And now the castle was gone, with basic ward detection spell Harry saw Hogwart's wards disappearing, he mounted his broom and went to ruins to cast same charm he used in Gringots. When first people arrived they saw huge floating sign saying 'Lord Nabilius was here', under it was another sign 'All your bases are belong to us'...

Back in London

Rest of the week was relatively calm... at least for Harry, Daily Prophet was panicking about new Dark Lord destroying first Gringots and later Hogwarts, Ministry was panicking because they had no money for salaries and Weasleys were panicking because Harry asked to marry Ginny. Wedding was supposed to be next week, Harry didn't argue against large traditional wedding, when asked about it he said that weeding is for the bride and wedding night is for the groom, supposedly he heard it from one muggle he worked for. Loosing all money in Gringots didn't prove as disastrous as Harry expected, many people kept significant amount of money at their homes and some people didn't even have accounts because they didn't trust the Goblins. To pay for the wedding Harry has given most of money he 'withdrew' last year, claiming he wanted Ginny to be happy. Only thing that Harry wanted was having some people to represent his 'family'. Dursleys were out of question and there were no Potters beside him so he proposed to invite people from Black side of his family, thus Draco Malfoy and his family found himself invited to Harry Potter's weeding. Dumbledore wholeheartedly supported it, he even congratulated Harry such mature attitude for giving Draco a second chance.

Before weeding Harry has met some people from school, there was obvious reunion with Ron and Twins, Charlie and Percy would only attend weeding as both were busy in their jobs, Bill and Fleur politely declined invitation claiming problems at Gringots. Harry knew the truth - people called curse breakers in Europe had different name outside it - assassins. Graves in Egypt were emptied centuries ago and ability to destroy wards could be used to access highly secure targets and... kill them. Bill and Fleur were known outside Europe as Mr and Mrs Smith, pair of best assassins money can buy, Harry even considered hiring them to kill Snape (who was still teaching and during summer was hiding somewhere under Fidelius) but unfortunately the pair didn't accept assignments in Great Britain and France.

Besides Weasleys Harry met with several people from DA, many of original members has already left the country. Patil twins went back to India, out there Hogwart was still considered 'prestigious school', muggleborn members that graduated with and before Harry has left the Magical Britain, either to non magical counterpart or abroad, most of those who graduated this year were already considering it. Strangely Hermione was also absent, Ron when asked about her said something about Order business and quickly changed the subject. Luna left Britain after her OWLs so Harry didn't expect to see her there. Remus and Tonks have also left after she was fired from DMLE for marrying werewolf and both of them couldn't find a job.

The day of the wedding was almost national holiday, those who couldn't get invitations were listening live report on Wizarding Wireless. Despite Harry no longer being 'The Chosen One', Boy-Who-Lived still interested many people. Only thing more interesting would be identity and whereabouts of the new 'Chosen One".

Harry went through all the ceremony ignoring most of it, he wasn't marrying Ginny but no one besides him knew that. When time for casting charm to check Ginny's faithfulness came Harry took out his phoenix-holly wand (he almost took his spare wand with him that day) and cast the spell. Everyone was expecting pure white glow showing that Ginny didn't sleep with anyone besides Harry, thus everyone was shocked when aura they saw was red, Ginny had a child and Harry wasn't it's father. Harry pretended to be shocked like everyone else and recast charm only to see same response.

"How could you Ginny?" Harry said with a blaming voice. "Who is the father?"

"Harry I don't know what is going on, I haven't slept with anyone besides you!" Ginny was almost crying.

"Is father somewhere here?" Harry cast overpowered charm used to test paternity, again everyone was shocked by effects, the charm showed that Draco Malfoy is the father.

"Potter, what is going on her? I never slept with that tart!" Draco tried to save himself knowing very well that now he will be forced to marry her.

"Miss Tonks, could you came here and cast those charms again?" Harry asked only healer he trusted... well, only healer he didn't immediately suspected for trying to drug or kill him, he didn't know Nymphadora's mother that good.

Andromeda Tonks went to the pair and cast same charms that Harry used, unsurprisingly effect was the same. She cast some additional charms and turned to everyone gathered.

"I am sorry to say that, but miss Weasley is carrying mister Malfoy's child. I suggest Narcissa you double check me, but I doubt that result will be any different." She has said with shaking voice.

"The wedding is off." Harry said with anger and aparated away...

...only to reappear half minute later with invisibility cloak right behind altar, he wouldn't miss that thing for all the money in the world.

Molly was shouting at Ginny, Lucius was shouting at Draco, Arthur was speaking with Dumbledore, Andromeda returned to her seat where she cast privacy ward and started speaking with her husband, Narcissa did went to Ginny and did re-check everything only to get same result, she went back to her husband and son and started talking with them. Obviously there were many other people gossiping among each other, but Harry didn't pay them much attention. After several minutes Lucius went to Arthur and started heated discussion with him and Dumbledore, at certain point Molly went to them and demanded that Dumbledore brings Harry here to marry her daughter, she shouted so loudly that Harry could hear her despite all the ruckus. Apparently that didn't work as about five minutes later Dumbledore silenced everyone with amplified voice and announced that Ginevra Weasley will marry Draco Malfoy, both tried to protest and both were told that they either do that or can say their names goodbye. With visible displasure of both groom and bride wedding continued, this time faithfulness charms were skipped and Ginevra Weasley became Ginevra Malfoy. During commotion Harry apparated away.

Harry arrived to his second apartment, cleared whole place, removed the wards and checked out. Now he needed some time for shock after the wedding to die out. Harry planned to use that time well... by visiting multiple brothels, after all he lived in chastity for over a week (Ginny doesn't count). What suppressed him was call from reception informing him that Andromeda Tonks wishes to speak with him, he invited her to his apartment and waited.

Harry invited Andromeda and invited her to sit down.

"Mrs Tonks, how nice to see you. Why do I owe the pleasure?"

"Mister Potter, please call me Andromeda."

"Only if you call me Harry."

"Of course... Harry."

"I am curious, how did you find me here? I am quite sure that Dumbledore still thinks I was staying in that cheap hotel."

"Dumbledore is an idiot, he still thinks that we live in 19th century and that muggles are harmless creatures that should be protected and guided, for the 'greater good' of course. He believes that new dark lord is another great threat to his Greater Good. I on the other hand watch non magical news and I heard about naval exercises during which four Tomahawk missiles destroyed old nuclear shelter under ruins of a castle in Scotland. Ronald Bilius aka. Lord Nabilius doesn't even know what missile IS, organizing missile strike at Hogwarts is as alien for him as going on a diet."

"That's a good description of Ron."

"So what else have you got planned?"

"I didn't have anything planned, but if I was Lord Nabilius or someone from his inner circle I would wait for a week or two and inform Daily Prophet about true identity of Lord Nabilius, after all such a powerful dark lord would be very popular, something that Ronald always wanted."

"What about Black and Potter holdings? What have you planned to do about them?"

"Uhm... nothing?"

"So you are going to let Ministry and all the families to get away with that?" Andromeda was visibly angry at this.

"Listen, Andromeda, I do not even know WHAT those holdings were. As for planning something for them I simply couldn't, everything was based on a tight schedule in both preparation and implementation, I didn't have enough time to plan something for them."

"I am sorry for snapping like that, you have shown great skill worthy of Salazar himself. I forgot that by overextending your plan you could risk everything."

"I hope you will keep this to yourself, I'm not very good with memory charms..." Harry made sure for the threat to be seen.

"Do you think you could take me on?" Andromeda was curious, she knew that Harry didn't get proper training while in Hogwarts, she on the other hand was trained by best dueling masters, perks of being born Black.

"In a honest magical duel? Not a chance, on the other hand before you can stun me I will shot you with this." In that moment in Harry's hand appeared silenced handgun aimed at Andromeda.

"I concede." This impressed her, Harry played to win. Black family needed lord like this." It was mere curiosity on my part and I do not plan to inform Dumbledore or Ministry about your actions."

"So what brings you here?"

"Besides my curiosity? Did you know that you are new Lord Black?" Harry nodded and Andromeda continued. "I want my daughter to be able to return to Magical Britain and work here, I want for her son to grow up without fear that some crazy pureblood will grab some friends and kill him for being half-breed and finally I want child I carry to not have to fight her own sister in a civil war that could be avoided if one idiot in power did the right thing."

"Why are you telling this to me?"

"I want you Harry to use wealth you gathered and political power of house Black and Potter to fix the hellhole known as Magical Britain."

* * *

**Author notes continued**

**Congratulations to those who lasted to this point, now I have question for you:**

**Should I continue this or should I rather delete scene with Andromeda, add epilogue and end the story?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author notes:**

**I do not own Harry Potter or any other original works mentioned here.**

**My writing still sucks. You have been warned.**

**Chapter version 1.1**

**()()()**

**Weasleys are EVIL, yes CAPITAL letters. Charlie is most harmless out of them all, minor smuggler that has little to no contact with Harry. Twins are weapon dealers selling their inventions to all sides during war, Harry learned about it in his 7****th**** year and using his Boy-Who-Lived persona he terminated partnership ('if V. learns about it he will burn your shop to the ground with you inside, I cannot put you in danger because of some money'). Percy is worst of them all – he is a... Bureaucrat!**

**Causing more chaos is close to impossible, destroying Ministry would actually IMPROVE situation and going after random people (which Harry can do with ease) might or might not be part of the 'fix the hellhole' plan.**

**I hope this chapter is only slightly bad.**

**()()()**

_"I want you Harry to use wealth you gathered and political power of house Black and Potter to fix the hellhole known as Magical Britain."_

"And how am I supposed to do that? Should I walk into Wizengamot and say 'hey guys, I'm creating new political block, who wants to join?'"A little sarcasm could be heard in Harry's voice when he said that.

"It would probably kill several people from asphyxiation, too much laugh can be fatal. I was thinking you could use your alter ego, you have one to move freely around, right? "Harry nodded." 'Sell' proxy rights to him and use money you 'obtained' from Gringotts to buy back Potter-Black holdings, purebloods are now stripped for cash and will sell without problems."

"Yes... John Doe, Wizengamot member..."

"You named your alter ego John Doe?" Andromeda couldn't stop her laugh. "What did goblins said about it?"

"They charged me extra for creating a vault under false name." They both laughed.

"No, John Doe won't do, it's too obvious fake. But you can use some other better sounding name. We will claim you came from US, they have different schooling system there so no one will be able to check the truth.

"And that's the whole plan? Get Potter-Black seats and some companies?"

"Of course not, that's the first step. After that you can use Lord Nabilius to cause chaos and mayhem, targeting Malfoy and other people you don't like. If you do enough damage Malfoy won't have money to rebuild and without money his allies will abandon him and start fighting each other for leadership. As for Dumbledore I don't have any good ideas how to deal with him, maybe if we knew who the Chosen One is and managed to convince her to help us we could do some damage to Dumbledore's support base, but it's a shot in the dark."

"Oh, I know who the Chosen One is, my good old friend Hermione Granger."

"What did she do to you to cause such treatment?" Everyone in wizarding world knew that Chosen One has to work as a prostitute to gain power to defeat Lord Nabilius... they also speculated that said girl is muggleborn so most people saw no problem with that.

"Besides informing Dumbledore about everything I did? Well, she was always nagging me about giving people with authority proper respect, if I got Galleon for every time she corrected me saying 'professor Snape' I would double Potter fortune. Not to mention blindly believing in Dumbledore. I told her many times how my so called family treated me, yet she always insisted that I should go back because 'Dumbledore knows what he is doing'. So now she is on receiving end of prophecy and can learn by herself that Dumbledore knows what he is doing."

"I hope you aren't that angry at my daughter, she was part of that Order group."

"No, it wasn't her fault that she ended up with wrong crowd, her husband on the other hand is on my list. Now assuming I will follow this plan, there is still one more thing – how am I supposed to pass for someone else on a daily basis? I do have some disguise but it won't work very well on people who know me."

"Oh, that's easy. You can become Metamorphmage, I have ritual to do this in one of books that I ekhm... 'took' with me when I left family. The common knowledge that it's inherited trait was disinformation done by Blacks to protect secrets of the ritual, after all if it's inherited trait no one will look for possible ways to gain it. The ritual is illegal in Britain and other ICW countries but we can exploit loophole in law and do it on a ship on international waters, laws against such activities don't apply there."

"In other words I am supposed to be nice businessman during day and evil Dark Lord who attacks poor ex-Deatheaters during night?"

"Yes, that sums it quite nice."

"I'm in."

For Harry it was quite good deal, he will have some fun with other people he hated and can even rebuild Potter and Black families this way. Of course it will be quite some time before anyone will learn the truth, but the satisfaction that he did all that right in front of everyone will be even better. Harry called service to extend his stay and canceled flight to Japan, he also asked for boat rental service. It took about half an hour to rent a boat that Andromeda considered good enough for the the ritual. After that Andromeda returned to the wedding party to have some fun watching her poor nephew, Harry on the other hand continued with his plan and went to visit several brothels.

Next day Harry met Andromeda and her husband Ted Tonks who was going to help operate the ship, after exchanging pleasantries they went see the ship. The ship was 40ft long motor yacht, at least that's what Harry has been told by Ted as his own knowledge about ships was close to none. On the yacht they have met owner's representative who ensured that people renting the ship have someone qualified to operate it. Both Ted and Andromeda had necessary qualifications thus after some paperwork and loading some supplies they have left the harbor and sailed toward sea. As soon as they left Thames River and had no people around to watch them Andromeda started preparations. The ritual required small circle where person will be located, several candles placed in strategic positions and a potion which was easy enough that nine year old could and did brew it. The 'evil blood magic' was used in potion that required blood of person who undergo ritual and several drops of blood placed on ritual circle. Andromeda told Harry that most blood rituals were quite easy and that was the reason they were banned, governments were afraid of them. For example there was ritual to obtain animagus form, normal way required meditation, several potions and most importantly – time. The ritual method required circle, potion that can be brewed by average second year Hogwarts student and took less that half a day, the only drawback was that person needed some training in using animal form, something that during 'standard' route is obtained along the way. Harry wanted to become animagus but Andromeda told him that he had to wait several months for the next ritual, doing it earlier could cause significant problems.

After leaving British territorial waters and finding a spot where they won't be disturbed the ritual begun. Harry cut his finger, several drops of his blood fallen on places Andromeda specified then he drunk the potion (blood was added during brewing process) and muttered short incantation in Latin. The result wasn't very spectacular, no light shows or gates of hell being opened, everything that happened was candles burning out one after another in an express time.

"And... that's it?" Harry asked after last candle was gone.

"Yes, Black family are experts on rituals. I have ways to modify this and other rituals to involve very impressive firework and other kind of effects, but complexity also is increased."

"Then why did anyone bother to do such thing?"

"Showing off? Average person will think that all that firework means very powerful and complicated magic. Thus most people will pay Black family to prepare rituals for them rather than do it themselves. Now I know this sounds lame, but concentrate on changing color of your hair."

Harry saw Tonks doing that dozens times and when he tried himself...

"Did anything happened?" Harry asked.

"Check yourself." Andromeda gave him a mirror. What Harry saw almost terrified of him – his hair was blond, just like Malfoy's, but this is where similarities ended as HIS hair was shaped in some sort of spikes, it looked similar to some Japanese game character he saw.

"Everything fine down there?"

"Yes honey, everything went fine, Harry is learning how to use his ability." Andromeda informed Ted who was watching out for ships, Notice-Me-Not charms lost most of their power with range thus best way was hide their actions was to simply not be seen by anyone.

"Fine, I will take us back to port then."

The yacht turned around and head back to London. During that time Harry tried to learn some control with his hair, but everything he managed always reminded him of some character he saw on TV or in a computer game. The worst thing was that blond was the only 'normal' color he could manage, green, violet, blue, pink, white, silver and probably many other variations with different names known only to females. Most of the hairstyles had either spikes or was too long to be worn by male. He finally settled on white spiky hair he saw in some show named after cleaning agent.

"Nice one, but I liked the blue one with pigtails better." Andromeda decided to comment his hairstyle.

"We can still go back, I am sure we manage to brew another potion and you can have whatever hairstyle you want."

"That's not bad idea, remember how much time you spend complaining that charms do not work very well and you have to do your hair muggle way?" Ted decided to join discussion.

"Ha ha ha. I am carrying your daughter, remember?"

"Oh excuses excuses, Harry if you ever get married you should ask your wife to do this ritual, this way when she complains about hair, makeup or overweight you can always say that she didn't want easy way to fix that."

"You. "Andromeda pointed at Ted. "Watch the ship, I do not wish to hit anything and swim back home. You." This time she pointed at Harry. "Go back and try to control your hair, this is supposed to be easiest part."

"I can control them, just every time I try to change it ends up as hairstyle from cartoons that was closest to the thing I wanted."

"Then you are not controlling them."

"Fine, fine."

Harry returned to his hotel in the late evening. He still couldn't control his hair thus to hide it they opted for a simple hat. He spent most of the week in his apartment learning to use his new ability, during that time Ted and Andromeda were traveling Magical Britain and buying back Potter-Black business.

Ted proved to be interesting person from Harry's perspective. While being muggleborn thus not being eligible to be in Slytherin house he still showed multiple traits associated with that house. During his Hogwarts days he was nice guy to whom people went when they needed help, be it homework, problems with family or boyfriend/girlfriend issues. Ted would always listen to them, advise and help with their problems, most of which were centered around teenage love. With his help many people at Hogwarts found their second half, that's how he met Andromeda. One of her non-Slytherin friends told her to visit him as he might be able to help her avoid marrying Malfoy. At that point she and Ted were in their 7th year and Ted was already learning law for his future career as solicitor, he didn't care much about NEWTs as he knew that as a muggleborn he could have O in 12 NEWTs and still wouldn't get good job. Andromeda despised Malfoy as he was walking around Hogwarts acting like he owned the place, he expected everything given to him because he was Malfoy, he had ambition but lacked any skills in subterfuge and was as cunning as rock. And so Andromeda met Ted, she asked people about his 'nice, helpful guy' persona and recognized it for what it was – building connections to be exploited in future, no one would ever suspect Hufflepuff from doing so which was the reason he was very successful. When she asked him about deal with Malfoy family he told her to date a muggleborn, her family would have her disowned from Black family thus leaving her to pursuit her own goals in life. Andromeda liked the idea and next week she and Ted were dating, it took a little more than that to have her family disown her, but Ted gladly helped her in that assignment as well.

Hearing his past Harry asked Ted if Hat considered putting him in Slytherin, Ted only response was direct quote of Hat's words. "Slytherin? No NO and **NO**, even if I could I wouldn't do that, those poor fools wouldn't know what hit them! HUFFLEPUFF!" Harry said that Hat tried to put him into Slytherin, which at this point didn't surprise anyone.

After a week old Black business were bought back by shell companies Ted created, but Potter side of things proved to be a bit difficult.

"Windmills? Waterwheels? Horse-drawn ploughs? Is this for real? I mean I know that wizards like traditions but isn't that but too much?" Harry wasn't happy about state his family's business was in. Potters owned most crops production and food business oriented around them. At this point Harry wasn't sure if he wanted them back, fortunately Black wealth was centered around potion ingredients thus 'traditional' was best as none of them knew anything about that industry.

"Most of those is modified and efficiency is much higher than non-magical version, at least they have to be if those numbers are true."

"But HORSE-DRAWN plough? Horses Ted, non-magical world stopped using them in a large scale farming more than half a century ago!"

Andromeda decided to join discussion. "You are forgetting one important thing. Potters were purebloods. I don't say that your grandparents bought that 'purebloods are superior' crap, but they were raised in magical world and had little to none knowledge about non-magical side of things."

"So what do we do? Ministry sold all those companies at fraction of their real value, some people became very rich from all bribes that had to be given, do we buy them back at half market price? Many people will sell them as they need hard cash."

"I'm afraid we lost our chance to buy them that cheap. Goblin banks from all over the Europe bailed out Ministry by buying back Gringots. Now Ministry has money and even they know that those money have to be pumped into economy to prevent total collapse. They have started several large projects and this will keep purebloods you robbed afloat."

"Wait, why no one told me about it?" Harry was surprised at the news.

"It was all over the Prophet, don't tell me you don't read it?"

"OK, I won't. So what do they plan to do with all that money? Rebuild Hogwarts to make it even bigger castle?" Harry said chuckling, he stopped when both Tonkses didn't laugh. "They plan to do that, aren't they?" Ted only nodded. "That's great!"

"What?!" Both Ted and Andromeda shouted in surprise.

"Uhm... yes, it's great."

"You destroyed the castle and now you are happy that they are rebuilding it? Ministry won't change anything, they won't finish before September 1st, but they will have enough facilities for school to open at October 1st. Building crews will work during school year to finish rest of the castle, they are supposed to finish before Easter." With magic building things was much easier... well, with magic and huge amount of money to be precise.

"Really? I mean it's not that more than quarter of Hogwart was ever used, come on we have HUGE castle and less than dozen classes are used at any single time. During my first year Dumbledore even closed entire floor without anyone complaining about lack of space. Why would they need even bigger castle? Why Founders needed such big castle? Never mind, it's good that they are rebuilding it."

"Both Founders and Ministry were megalomaniacs. But that's not the point, why are you so happy about this?"

"Isn't that obvious? I now have a chance to blow up Hogwarts... again! I was thinking about using those huge guns from battleships, or maybe rocket artillery? Stuffing it with explosives is quite boring but might work if we won't came up with anything better." Harry started muttering under his nose about ways he can blow up Hogwarts.

Andromeda tried changing the subject. "You have nearly year to plan this, now we have to decide what do we do about Potter holdings. They belonged to your family so it's your decision Harry."

Harry started to pace the room thinking. He easily could buy back everything, but at full value it would only help to fund next Dark Lord, but leaving everything in hands of those families was also out of question, those farms and rest of industry did made profit after all.

"I say we do nothing."

"Well, that's fine by me, but you..." Harry interrupted Andromeda.

"No, I didn't say we leave them alone. Ted, are there any import-export laws between magical and mundane world?"

"There are no laws, magical world is self sufficient and importing common goods is to expensive due to Galleon-Pound exchange rate, we are importing some luxury goods but that's all. Magical world has nothing to export without breaking Statue of Secrecy so there is no way to obtain pounds other than Gringotts."

"So there are no laws regulating that? Good, my idea is simple – we buy farms on mundane side and use mundane technology to grow all the food Magical Britain requires, it will be cheaper than buying back Potter properties and we will remove most of the competition from the market with cheaper prices."

"That could work in the short run, in the long run Ministry will most likely impose severe taxes on you to preserve magical business."

"Wait Ted, it could work. We can use their laws against them. Ministry can impose any taxes on any business they want, with exception of those owned by Lords. Those can be only taxed by Wizengamot and money won't go to Ministry but to Wizengamot. Usually Wizengamot gives money to Ministry to help their funding."

"So let me get this straight. Ministry can tax any business they want any way they want, presumably to ruin them, thus forcing owner to sell to some Lord who pays little to no taxes at all?"

"Yes, you only forget to mention that both owner and said Lord can bribe Ministry to set taxes how they want, of course Lords have more money at their disposal and win pretty much always." Ted had many cases like that, he always advised owners to sell as there was no way they could win using law, most sold but some were more stubborn and tried to fight in court, the court being Wizengamot newer sided with them.

"So Harry has to become Lord rather than proxy holder, we can do that."

"And how I am supposed to do that Andromeda?"

"Well, you cannot become Lord Potter as everyone knows you are last of Potters, but there is nothing stopping you from becoming Lord Castor hmm... White holding Black seat, that's how Potter family came to existence. Originally your ancestors were named Prevells, but when they made many enemies they had to disappear, Lord Prevell gave away his title to his 'distant cousin' named Potter. For several years Prevells were 'dying' and leaving all properties to their 'distant cousins' from Potter family."

"No offense, but how do you know that? It wouldn't work if it wasn't a secret..."

"For two centuries after that Potters and Blacks had several clashes... true Gryffindors would never last long against Black family, yet Potters not only survived but thrived. Due to that our ancestors started searching through archives and found evidence about this switch that could seriously harm Potter reputation, rather that use it to fight current Lord Black saw great skill of Potter family and approached them with alliance offer. Our Houses were secretly allied for the last seven centuries, that's the reason Sirius was never disowned, that's the reason your grandmother was Black... And most likely that's the reason you never went to Slytherin, the Hat recognized Potter and knew that Potters NEVER went to Slytherin, I heard that crown argument was 'no true Slytherin would ever go to that house'."

Ted only chuckled at that. "I know something about this."

"With your Methamorph skills you can pass as twenty five year old, you can claim to be related to Blacks through your grandmother squib banished from family. Your family was living in US where your father has become rich. After he retired he gave his company to you and your brother, you wanted to make name for yourself so you asked your brother to buy out your part. From your grandmother you knew about Black heritage, you changed your name to keep your family away from current problems and went to Britain. You met Harry Potter and convinced him to give you Black Lordship in exchange for money to move away from here, Potter also gave you proxy rights to his seat as he didn't know who was using it. If they ask about your education you can say you concentrated on mundane studies and only had basic education required to control your magic. US has different education system, you can attend normal school and only go to summer camps to learn about magic, OWL and NEWT level education is not mandatory."

"That's good story, but why I never passed OWLs and NEWTs in it? How am I supposed to defend myself without NEWT level spells?"

"Spam Reductor curse, I heard it worked for you during Battle, you can say that you knowledge is limited so you are using simplest spells. Or get yourself a gun. As for why, British wizards can check if you passed OWLs and NEWTs in US, it would too be hard to fake those, on the other hand they have no way to check if you attended any of those summer camps or graduated from mundane school, after all before coming here you changed your name."

"What about heritage tests?"

"The one where you put three drops of blood on parchment to see your ancestors?"

"I don't know, I only heard that there are some tests. Hermione took one to see if she's related to some wizards."

"Stupid girl. The tests are based on information stored in Gringotts archives, for obvious reasons muggles are not included. Now that those records are gone you could claim to be descendant of King Arthur and no one would be able to disprove that. There are some charms to check if two people are closely related and they work when muggles are involved, but they only give yes/no answer. You don't have to worry about it as you are related to Black family through your grandmother and that's the cover story we are using."

"Let's go with this plan then. Ted, check prices of farms in mundane world, see how much effective they are and how much land we will need to feed entire Magical Britain. When you get that numbers we will know how many Galleons we have to convert to gold to fund this."

"We will have to buy whole supply chain, fortunately it doesn't have to be big, whole Magical Britain has less than 50 thousand people. I will also check if it won't be cheaper to build entire industrial complex from scratch, with magical construction teams we can make buildings very fast, we will only need non-magical people when installing electricity and machinery."

"It could work, many goods like pumpkin juice, are not popular in non-magical world, it could be hard to find someone producing it in quantities we require. Now Harry I suggest you came up with 'Lord White' face, visit Leaky Cauldron and read Prophet to know what is going on. I know you don't care about politics and economy but as of now you cannot ignore them."

"Fine, fine. I will check Prophet to see what I missed, but don't expect me to be interested by it. I'm leaving business side of things to you, leave mayhem and destruction to me muahahahahaha!"

"Honey, remind me why did we join insane Dark Lord again?" Ted asked his wife after they left Harry's room.

"Family tradition Ted, Nymphadora and Sirius joined Dumbledore, Bella and Cissy joined Voldemort. I didn't want us to be left out."

"You are kidding right? Right?"

"Ted, Harry raided Gringotts and blew up Hogwarts. Right now he is probably thinking new ways to blow up Hogwarts... again. The three of us are plotting how to overthrow government, if that doesn't make him Dark Lord I don't know what does."

"Well... but I still think that evil laugh was bit too much."

"Oh please, don't tell me you never wanted to laugh like that when one of your plots came to fruition."

"Well... maybe once or twice."

Next day Harry was ready to visit Leaky Cauldron as Lord White, he took face of handsome (at least according to several females he asked) twenty five year old. He kept his spiky white hair as it didn't cover his eyes. He was wearing casual mundane clothing to keep up with his 'living among muggles' image, true no one knew him right now but it should change after several weeks. He asked Tom for several older editions of Daily Prophet, ordered meal and started reading.

According to Prophet British Ministry seized Gringots shortly after it was abandoned, people didn't notice as everyone was more interested in his wedding. After the wedding various Goblin banks teamed up and bought back Gringotts from Ministry for horrendous amount of money, according to Prophet speculations Minister didn't want to sell so he gave the price that Goblins won't pay. When asked Goblin bankers claimed that they needed Gringotts to understand how Lord Nabilius managed to breach their security, with Ministry running around the bank it was impossible. That was the official story, speculations ran wild from saying that Gringotts is foothold in case of Goblin invasion to claiming that the robbery never took place and all the gold is hidden at the bank and Goblins now want to safely get it from there. After getting the money Ministry announced rebuilding Hogwarts. Due to size of castle rebuilding will take nearly a year but enough will be done to start classes at October 1st. Other projects included another round of Tri-Wizard Tournament, organizing Quidditch cup, digging two or three new levels for Ministry building and few large parties. Unsurprisingly none of those funds were meant for Aurors or St Mungos.

From other news people were still guessing identity of The New Chosen One(tm), there was even pool in Prophet with various candidates and current odds. Hermione was listed with 150 to 1 odds, Harry decided to put thousand Galleons on her, it will lower the odds but he should still get twenty or thirty thousand from that bet. Besides that there were speculations about his whereabouts after wedding, none of the were true but Harry liked the one where he escaped to France and lived with pack of veela. After lunch he went to Prophet and put the bet on Hermione, odds only lowered to 120 to 1, easy money. He spent rest of the day walking around Diagon Alley acting like a tourist... again. Due to various problems last time he had a chance to walk around like this was before his 3rd year when only person trying to kill him was escapee mass murderer.

When evening came Harry decided to visit Knocturn Alley and see if Hermione was in one of local brothels, Dumbledore probably sold her to more expensive one and that's where Harry went after changing his appearance. Inside he found matron and was given large book with pictures of girls working there doing many improper things, Hermione was among them listed as very talented muggleborn that 'joined' in recent weeks, prices for her services were quite high, but Harry had money.

One of the girls had led Harry to room and told him that Hermione will join him in a moment, while waiting Harry started checking for monitoring charms, he found some and dispelled them using overpowered _Finite Incantem. _That charm can undo pretty much any spell, only question was how much power is needed to to that. For weaker wizards more specialist charms were necessary, Harry had enough power to spare and little time to learn many charms, hence he learned how to overpower his spells. After removing those charms he hit most of the room with area _Finite Incantem, _ some furniture changed from fancy looking ones to plain ones, apparently they were under effect of permanent transfiguration.

Hermione arrived wearing only collar on her neck. At this moment Harry noticed that some girls in the book he saw were wearing collars.

"You are under Imperius?"

"Yes, Master." She was speaking in monotone.

"Who cast the spell?"

"Dumbledore, Master."

"Really? What happened?"

"He told me that there was new prophecy and I need to sacrifice my freedom to save Britain from Lord Nabilius, he told me that I have to do that for the Greater Good. When I refused he took out his wand and cast Imperius on me, Master."

"Bit anticlimactic, don't you think?"  
"Yes, Master."

"Well, he was probably pressed for time, many people heard prophecy and while Prophet still doesn't know who The New Chosen One ™ is, Dumbledore didn't want to risk you doing something. You would figure out the Prophecy in no time and could leave knowing how it would affect you."

Hermione was silent, Harry didn't ask a question and she was ordered to only speak when spoken to.

"So Hermione... how does it feel to be on the receiving end of the Prophecy?"

Hermione eyes widened when she realized who she was speaking with. "It's not very fun, Master Harry. I like being ordered around but sex with old purebloods disgust me."

"Tell me, how do you feel about our beloved Headmaster? He wasn't afraid of using Unforgivable curses to achieve his Greater Good, most likely it wasn't his first time. Sirius dueling Bellatrix in front of Veil and taunting her rather that casting spells doesn't strike me as behavior of experienced Auror and veteran of last war and that's only top of the iceberg."

"I think his Greater Good is only good for Dumbledore, Master."

"I could get used to that. No nagging about learning, no constant reminders that Dumbledore knows what he is doing and that we should listen to him, by the way when did you betrayed me and started informing Dumbledore about everything I did?"

"Before my third year, Master. Dumbledore asked me to help him guide you and protect you from going Dark, when I wasn't agreeing he sweetened the deal with Time Turner."

"Hmm... quite right, I doubt that McGonagall would be able to convince Department of Mysteries to lend Time Turned to thirteen year old muggleborn. If such request was done by Dumbledore they would trip themselves over to please him. I'm not very interested in what you reported over the years, the fact that we are in this situation means you didn't tell him anything important. I am still curious about something, in our seventh year you were constantly nagging me to learn dozens of spells that could help me in a fight, most of them were quite useless, either incantation was long or effect could be achieved by something simpler. Why use separate dispelling spell when _Finite Incantem_ works fine on target? Why bother with overcomplicated and long bombardment course when overpowered _Reducto_ can do the job just fine?"

"It was done on Dumbledore orders, Master. He told me that those spells are very useful and would help you in a fight, I learned all of them."

"And it didn't occur to you that they are crap?"

"No, Master. Dumbledore told the that they are top notch dueling spells, at that point I saw no reason to distrust him."

"Now look where trusting that old fool got you, true it was me who made that prophecy but if you were honest with me I wouldn't have to create it or at least I would have someone else targeted... maybe Neville? He missed his chance with Voldemort, why not give him a second one? Never mind, how much time it will take you to break Imperius?"

"Eight to twelve months, Master."

"And your owner isn't doing anything to prevent that?"

"No, Master. They think it's impossible to resist Imperius and did not asked me if I could at any point in time do that."

"'Everyone knows that' so it has to be true, how typical. Now I didn't came here to gloat, true I like to do it and I couldn't do that in front of our old Headmaster. No, I came here to make you a proposal. You see I have this nice project going on and I need someone to help me, I have some allies but they have their own lives and responsibilities so I cannot always ask them for help. That's why I propose you a nice deal, I will use a blood ritual to bond you to me as a slave, don't worry I do not need mindless toy, I only need that so you will be loyal to me and I won't make it permanent... Five years, that's how long you were spying on me. You will have salary and even a place to live... as soon as I get one, what? I'm living in hotel right now, five star hotel but still a hotel. When our time together ends I will require oath to ensure you won't tell secrets you learned during work and I will provide you with nice bonus so you can start a life somewhere. I will warn you now that sex will be included, I lied when I said that I think of you as my sister, you are indeed a very lovely woman that I had many fantasies about. Obviously if you refuse I will _Obliviate_ you and then have some fun, I payed for that you know. When you free yourself I will leave you alone, one year is less than I had to spend in Dursley's care, but given what kind of services you have to provide I will call it even. So what's your answer?"

"I will join you, Master."

"Splendid. Stay here, I will go to your matron to negotiate a price."

Negotiations were easy, at first matron didn't wish to speak about selling Hermione, then Harry put a bag with ten thousand Galleons on table, matron become interested which caused Harry to put second bag and when he put third bag she agreed to sell immediately. Harry told her he will need a day or two to prepare room for Hermione so he will leave her there for that time, she was not supposed to work during this time, another two hundred Galleons secured matron compliance. He informed Hermione about agreement and left to visit Andromeda, he needed her help in those rituals.

While many people would be shocked at such treatment of a fellow human being, Andromeda only nodded and went to buy ingredients required in ritual, even Ted wasn't much shocked, Harry only heard him muttering something about Dark Lords and harems...

Next day Harry took Hermione and went to same harbor they used before. After short trip they traveled far enough for apparition to not work, for some reason it was impossible to apparate over large bodies of water. Without apparition Hermione had nowhere to run and so Harry removed Imperius from her.

Hermione jumped at Harry with fists "You bastard! Do you know what did I go through?" Before she could do any damage Harry grabbed her, twisted her arm and dropped her on the deck.

"Know? No. Suspect? Yes. I wouldn't go with this plan if all it did was slightly inconvenience you."

"How could you do this to me? I thought we were friends!"

"How? It was quite easy, some polijuice bought from Knocturn Alley, Trelawney's hair, voice changing charm and place where Dumbledore is. Despite being master manipulator and politician he is quite gullible when it comes to prophecies or maybe he didn't want somebody else to take the glory for killing another Dark Lord? Who knows."

"But why? Why would you do something like this to me?"

"Revenge my dear. You were Dumbledore little spy for five years, you deliberately gave me useless spells and didn't bother to mention that there are books on Occlumency in restricted section, heck you didn't even mention that you have pass to restricted section, was that reward for spying on me? I doubt that Dumbledore would allow such thing for anyone else."

Ted decided to join their little argument "Hermione, what do you know about magical laws? Nothing probably, or enough to not get expelled. You see, what you did is punishable by our laws, spying on Lord with seats in Wizengamot is severe offense if done by muggleborn, your friend Ronald would get away with small fine because he is pureblood while best case scenario for you would couple decades in Azkaban, worst case? You could spend rest of your life in that brothel. Everything according to our laws, all Harry had to do was inform DMLE about your actions. Do not think that Dumbledore would protect you, he sees you as an expendable pawn."

"What? Who could make such laws? It's horrible."

"Purebloods, so what will it be? Are you going with that ritual or should we drop you off and inform DMLE about your little affair?"

Hermione was defeated, with limited choices she went for lesser evil. "Fine, I agree."

Harry helped her to get up and asked Andromeda what they are supposed to do.

"Again, it's quite simple. I have made a potion, you both put three drops of blood in it, make sure it's three, more will cause ritual to be permanent while less will made effect less than perfect."

Hermione frowned. "How can you make mind control less than perfect?"

"With one or two drops you could try to creatively interpret Harry's orders, cause him indirect harm or simply slack off. With three you will have to work for him to the best of your ability. After you add blood you will read this." Andromeda handed both Harry and Hermione papers with short incantation. "Hermione goes first, then Harry."

They stood inside circle. Andromeda cut her finger and several drops of blood landed on drawings.

"Why did you do that?" Hermione asked .

"Because we don't want all magic detectors in western Europe to go crazy. Now add your blood and start reading this."

"I Hermione Jane Granger swear on my life to serve and protect Harry James Potter to the best of my ability until he releases me from my oath."

"I Harry James Potter accept service of Hermione Jane Granger as my vassal." The potion started glowing white and vaporized within seconds.

"Congratulations, I pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride Harry."

"WHAT?"

Ted started explaining "Well, this is so called magical marriage, now vows are different but idea is the same, man is lord and female is his vassal, although marriage vows do not have that escape clause so I might be wrong."

"I can't be married! I didn't have a career, I don't have any masteries." She noticed that everyone was chuckling. "That was a joke right?" Besides Hermione everyone was laughing.

After a while Ted managed to stop to the point when he could speak. "Gryffindors, no wonder Dumbledore can feed you any lie and you come back for more. By the way, the whole 'spying on Harry is crime' was also a lie, there is law like that but Harry would have to work in his official capacity as a Lord for that law to apply."

"How could you do that to me? You were Hufflepuff!"

"Our houses don't define us Hermione, Pettigrew was Gryffindor and look how he ended up. Claiming that one minor event in our childhood shapes our entire personality is silly."

"Hermione, you can get mastery, I won't stop you from that. And you can have a carrier, we could buy one from French, it's not that they will ever use it, and bomb pureblood's mansions with aircraft and gunships. Also if you are interested you can obtain some rare and unique abilities while working for me... would you like to be Methamorphmagus? It would certainly help if no one knew your true identity while working for me, I won't be acting as Harry Potter in public now."

"A career Harry, like a chosen pursuit; a profession or occupation. Not an aircraft carrier." Hermione looked at him.

"I knew that." He tried to reassure her.

"Of course you did, As for Methamorphmagus, you have to be born with that ability, Nymphadora said..." Hermione started her lecture mode, but before she could explain Andromeda interrupted her.

"My daughter used blood magic to gain this ability when she was twelve, people at Hogwart were bullying her because her true form looks like Bellatrix Lestrange. We told everyone that she 'awakened her abilities' because blood magic is illegal, now we are exploiting loophole so there is no problem. Besides Methamorph you can become animagus without all that annoying meditation, potions and whole 'turn parts of your body into your animal' thing. There are many more rituals, you can use one to gain instant telepathic communication between people, this is where whole Soul Bonds myth originates. You can get ability to see magic, turn into shadow, improved apparition where you don't risk splinching yourself and many more. How do you think Voldemort gained ability to turn into black smoke and fly around? Blood rituals." Andromeda finished her explanation and looked at Hermione to see two huge puppy eyes looking at her. "Harry?"

"Yes... you can learn all that, I planned to give you all the books I got to organize them. After stealing Hogwarts library, Dumbledore personal library and several others I have more books than I will ever need."

"Can we go back now? I want to start organizing the library." Hermione was jumping from excitement.

"What about second ritual?" Andromeda asked.

"Oh, will it take much time?"

"Two minutes, then you will have to learn how to control changing."

"Wow, it's fast..."  
"My twelve year old daughter managed to do it alone without my help."

"Why wasn't more Methamorphmagus in your family?"

"Chameleon blood is quite rare in Magical World, in mundane world you can find chameleons in a Zoo..."

Andromeda helped Hermione and when they finished Ted turned yacht toward London. Hermione was sitting and quietly mumbling about all those books and how she will organize them going through pros and cons of various library organization systems. Harry on the other hand had a new idea.

"Andromeda, I was thinking. I will need a place to live and maybe using large yacht would be advantageous, no apparition when you are on sea, no one will notice anything unusual when we leave for a while to do some rituals and we won't have to rent boat every time we wish to do something."

"We can even put it under Fidelius." Hermione added when she heard that. "What? The charm might work on large boats, there is minimum and maximum size of objects you can hide and target can't have active wards because Fidelius will disable them. We could..." Ted tried interrupting her several times until finally shouting her name made her to stop.

"Is she always that bad? Never mind, we can't use Fidelius. How do you think we will enter port if no one can see us? Not to mention that Fidelius might not work on mundane detection methods like radars, we could even start new Flying Dutchman myth."

"Oh... I didn't think of that."

"While yacht can be useful as a mobile base of operations and home we will also need some office for our business. Would you like to buy one or order it to be build? Japan has a shipyard that uses magic to speed up building and they are building modern ships from modern materials with enhancements rather than ships from Age of Sails you could expect from ICW contractors."

"Ted, how do you know so much about this?"

"What? Can't I have hobby? Why do you think I got license to use this ship? Andi, now that I think about it we also have some Galleons, we can sell them in mundane world and get ourselves a yacht."

"What do you mean sell Galleons in mundane world? You cannot do that, there are enhancements on them and Statue of Secrecy..." Everyone was laughing at Hermione's words, Ted only uttered 'Gryffindors' and went back to steering ship. Andromeda went to explain poor Hermione what they are doing and how they are doing that. Harry went to Ted and started discussing parameters of their yachts, they agreed that making two same ships will make things easier as Harry wasn't as knowledgeable about yachts as Ted, he only wanted one and had money to get it. Both men heard shouts from Hermione 'HE is Lord Nabilius?' or 'He did WHAT?', the second one repeated itself several times.

Hermione started living in Harry's apartment. If hotel had any objections they kept them for themselves due to Harry's seven digit bank account. Most of the time she was training her new ability and preparing business plan for their new company. She pointed out that land in United Kingdom is expensive and with cheap sea transport they can start farms outside country, presumably somewhere in Eastern Europe where farms are closing due to changes in local economy after fall of Soviet Union. They should still keep all production in Britain due to mundane export-import rights. Harry wasn't much interested in details and told her to do best and make it work.

Harry on the other hand checked when is the nearest Wizengamot meeting and started preparing for it. He went to Knocturn Alley to purchase yet another wand, this time he used hie new identity of Castor White. Besides wand he got himself professional wand holster and set of poisoned knives just in case. After getting weapons it was time to get proper attire.

Harry as Castor went to large shopping mall and shoved girl working there a picture, from her reaction Harry aka Castor figured out that she recognized the person on the picture. He told her to get him such outfit, she looked at him and nodded. After three hours of walking around Harry got all the clothes he wanted, good thing that no pureblood will recognize that he is essentially cosplaying.

Next Wednesday Harry was ready, Wizengamot session was starting at 10am and Harry decided to be fashionably late and have his grand entrance. Hermione even found a charm to make a cloak billow!

He arrived to Ministry and ordered personnel to guide him to guide him to Wizengamot meeting. Ministry employees did nothing, but as soon as he showed his ring they were nearly killing themselves over right to guide him around. Harry was only ten minutes late when he opened doors to Wizengamot chambers with a kick. Everyone inside saw person wearing a charcoal suit, leather riding boots, a red cravat, and a long red duster. He was also wearing a red fedora with a wide, floppy brim and a pair of circular, wire-framed sunglasses. **(A/N Yes, Harry is dressed like Alucard from Hellsing.)**

"Hi everyone. Bailiff show me my seat." Harry walked in and spoke to the Minister. Everyone inside started talking, Harry saw some familiar faces, besides Malfoy's Inbreeds he saw Neville, Arthur Weasley, Susan Bones and several other people who he saw at Hogwarts but didn't remember their names. Some of them were sitting with parents or guardians and some like Neville or Susan were alone.

"Hey, bailiff do your job or I will ask the Minister to fire you!" Harry was truly enjoying this.

"You arrogant brat, I am the Minister! I will have you arrested and thrown into Azkaban for this insult!" Pissing off Minister, check.

"Wow, you people are so poor that Minister has second job as bailiff? Damn, I didn't think that destruction of one bank would hit you that hard."

This time it was Dumbledore who spoke. "My boy, this person is indeed the Minister and he is not working as bailiff, we do not have one in this chamber."

"I am sorry Minister, I thought that by sitting next to this guy in center you are the bailiff. It makes some sense to make bailiff sit in center so he can see entire chamber and keep order. By the way, I do not swing that way mister bailiff so please do not call me 'your boy', people might misunderstand." Minister only smirked, Dumbledore on the other hand was becoming angry.

"Young man, do you know who I am?" Pissing off Dumbledore, check.

"A bailiff? No? Then sorry, I do not know."

"I am Chief Warlock Albus Percival Brian Wulfric Dumbledore."

"Which one is your name and which is your title?" Dumbledore was close to explode.

"My title is Chief Warlock, and my name is..."

Harry raised his hand. "Don't repeat it, we do not have all day. And you are a chief? You people are still divided into tribes? So Wizengamot is just fancy Tribal Council? I thought that Magical Britain has... well not modern, but at least not centuries outdated political system." This caused nearly entire chamber to become outraged, it was fine with them when Dumbledore and Scrimgeour were ridiculed.

Some older man shouted to arrest Harry immediately. Piss off Wizengamot, check.

"Young man, who do you think you are to enter this sacred chamber and insult everyone inside?"

"Castro White, forty something Lord Black, I even have this cool ring." Harry shoved everyone his hand where they could see Lord Black's family ring.

"Mister White, current Lord Black is Harry Potter. I do not know how you got this ring but I am sure it was done by illegal means and I will have to order Aurors to arrest you."

"And I don't care Chief, order your Auroras to arrest me, heck you can even order them to do belly dance in which case I hope you have some cute females there. As long as I have this cool ring I can shoot first as questions later, do you HAVE enough Auroras to apprehend me?" Good thing Harry got himself two illegal guns earlier, well illegal on mundane side. "So where is my seat? There?" Harry noticed a place with his fake name on it.

When Harry was going to his seat, 'accidentally' elbowing Lucius Malfoy on the way, Dumbledore and Scrimgeour were discussing new turn of events. Scrimgeour wanted him arrested but Dumbledore pointed out that Harry's words were true – only way to arrest him now is to have vote in Wizengamot and while Harry insulted that body, he also insulted Dumbledore which will give him some support from Dark families, Neutrals on the other hand liked when he insulted Minister so it will be unlikely to get enough votes from Dumbledore supporters only. Even if they did pushed for that, he as a Lord could postpone vote for a month and bribe enough people to vote against it, so Dumbledore advised Minister to ignore annoying boy, he won't do anything alone and to get allies he will need to behave.

Harry got to his place and sat. He put his legs on a desk in front of him and took out a book. He didn't recognize people he was sitting next to. One was middle aged blond guy, on the other side was some old guy who didn't even looked at Harry. Harry turned to the blond man.

"Hey, is this always boring like this? Chief speaking to Minister and ignoring the rest of us? Oh, sorry. I didn't introduce myself, Castor White current Lord Black... or should it be Lord White now?" Harry held out his hand toward blond man.

"Cyrus Greengrass." Cyrus shook his hand. "No, Chief Warlock usually doesn't ignore fellow Lords, I suspect he is trying to calm down the Minister to not order your arrest Lord... Black. Or White, it depends how you came into possession of your title. If you are related to the Black family you can change name of your lordship, if you just bought it from Potter you are stuck with Lord Black."

"Wow, I didn't know that. How do I go about changing the name? My grandmother was non-magical and was kicked out from Black family so I think I qualify as related."

"Well then, all you have to do is inform Wizengamot during a formal session about the change. Some people might demand proof that you are related to Black family and with Gringotts records gone it might be difficult to provide such evidence."

Dumbledore has finished his argument with Scrimgeour and restarted proceedings.

"Lord and Ladies, please cease your discussions and return to next point of our session before we were... interrupted. Is there anyone wishing to propose any new motions?" Dumbledore was looking at Harry, he didn't try Leglimency as Harry was wearing glasses with charm that stopped passive Leglimency.

"Uh yes, Chief Dumbledore. I wish to inform this illustrious body about change of name. Lordship known as Black shall be known henceforth as White. Anyone who wishes to dispute this shall step forward now or be silent forever." Whole hall was silent, no one was suspecting that Harry will say something serious. Silence didn't last long as one of the younger members started shouting.

"I won't allow that! This bastard comes to this sacred place, ridicules our sacred traditions and now he demands that? I shall not stand idle when our way of life is trampled by this mudblood. I Lord Draxus Nero Lestrange challenge so called 'lord' Castor White to honor duel! What will you do now mudblood?" Harry looked at shouting man. He looked like twenty something, he had hair similar to that of Bellatrix Lestrange and from his face Harry could see similarities to Rodolphus Lestrange.

"First of all Draxi, according to your own naming standards I am a half-blood as both my parents were magical. Secondly I accept."

"Fine! We shall fight tomorrow in Ministry's dueling hall!" Lestrange ended with a smirk on his face, Harry suspected that if he agreed to that he wouldn't be fighting Lestrange but some dueling champion under polijuice. That plan won't work.

"And look who is now trampling over your traditions. Isn't it my right to choose time and place? Don't you know your own traditions?" Lestrange smirk disappeared from his face as Harry continued. "I do not think we need to wait for the next day, I have my stick... wand I mean, with me and I am ready. What do you say about here and now for place and time? Scared?"

"I accept. I am not afraid of some upstart half-blood. To the death, no Unforgivables."

"And I wanted to let you live." Harry stepped onto his desk and jumping on desks he got to the center of chamber. "Come here Strange. This party suddenly became much more interesting."

Harry noticed that Dumbledore remained silent most likely expecting 'Castor' to die making lordship return to 'Harry' and by extension to Dumbledore. It was only logical explanation when person preaching forgiveness and nonlethal combat ignores people who will fight to the death in several moments.

Lestrange got down and stood there.

"Chief Warlock, please create proper dueling arena and secure it. I wouldn't want for … accidents to happen."

Dumbledore stood up and started muttering some spells. The central area was enlarged to about fifty meeter in diameter, height of walls increased from less than meeter to more than ten also all exits were gone.

"Lord Lestrange, protocol requires me to ask you to resolve that matter peacefully. Would you wish to do that?" Dumbledore didn't even pretend that he wants this matter resolved without bloodshed.

"If this half-blood gives his title to me and swears allegiance oath to Lord Lestrange I will consider this matter resolved."

"Lord White, what is your answer?"

"Killing curse is cheaper and faster, but as you are afraid of using them Reductor curse will have to be enough."

"Fine you half-blood bastard, EVERYTHING goes." Lestrange looked at Dumbledore. "I remind you Chief Warlock that honor duels between Lords are exempt from law about Unforgivable curses."

"Very well. My Lords, please stand in designated spots. I will fire red sparks which will be your signal to begin. After that only one of you will leave this arena."

Harry and young Lestrange entered area lighted by Dumbledore and waited. As this was not sporting duel but fight for life they both started with their wands and other weapons inside holsters. With everything goes both men could use any weapon they brought into arena, only rule was not using help from outside during fight.

Harry looked relaxed and even pretended to yawn several times. Lestrange was in some sort of dueling pose waiting for signal, his eyes wee also aimed at Harry the entire time. When Harry started playing with his nails Lestrange finally had enough.

"Stop that already! Dumbledore give the signal."

Dumbledore waited several seconds and fired red sparks.

_Avada Kedavra_

Lestrange started incantation and snapped his fingers, before he finished wand was in his hand and Killing Curse was flying in the arena. Harry lazily made a step to the right and started to walk, spell passed next to him harmresly. This enraged Lestrange even further and he started to fire one Killing Curse after another, all of them missed as no one ever taught Lestrange how to aim at a moving target. All spells were aimed at a point where Harry was at the moment of casting. Lestrange received training from dueling champion, in such fights opponents are standing in small circle and there is no such thing as a 'moving target', hence no training to hit one.

"You should play more Quake. Set up." One of activation methods of Harry's holster was voice, there were few others but Harry wanted to keep them secret.

When Lestrange slightly tired he switched to other spells, all were cast non verbally so Harry didn't even know what all those colored beams of light did. Harry was still walking around Lestrange and still didn't have to dodge or shield himself. After getting to opposite side of arena where he started Harry lost patience.

_Reducto_

Harry never understood

_Reducto _

those purebloods, they

_Reducto_

learn dozens of spells

_Reducto_

and use all of them

_Reducto_

during fight.

_Reducto Reducto Reducto_

All you

_Reducto_

truly need is

_Reducto_

one good spell that

_Reducto_

you can practice over

_Reducto_

and over

_Reducto_

again.

_Reducto Reducto Reducto_

The last one was too much and Lestrange shield failed him. He was tossed at the wall and fall on the ground. Another thing Harry never understood - only members Voldemort's Inner Circle ever dodged. Well, maybe he shouldn't be so harsh to them, after all due to the curse there was no good defense teacher in Hogwarts since seventies so there was no one to teach young generations those basic things like... dodging.

"What kind of wizard are you? Using only one spell? Did you even went to magical school?" In face of defeat Lestrange tried to anger Harry hoping for some mistake to exploit, unfortunately for him Harry had to live through seven years of Draco's taunts, he was now nearly immune to that.

"Hmm... now that I think of it... no I did not went to magical school, in US you can skip a magical school and only attend some magical summer camps if you do not wish to live in the Magical World."

"Ha! Primitives, you can't even afford proper magical education. Did you learn this spell through a correspondence course?" He tried to laugh but it's hard to do that with several broken ribs.

"Curses! You exposed my secret source of magical knowledge! Now I will have to kill you."

"Reductor curse again? You thi..."

_Avada Kedavra_

Lord Draxus Nero Lestrange was dead. "See? I know two spells."

_Reducto Reducto Reducto_

"What are you doing Lord White?"

"Making sure Chief Dumbledore. You British have that weird ability to not always die when hit by Killing Curse." Harry walked to Lestrange's body and kicked him several times. "Yup, he's dead."

"So, anyone else doesn't like that I changed the name of Black lordship? No? If I knew that there is so much fun during those sessions I would come here as soon as I got my title."

Entire chamber was silent.

**()()()**

On the other side of the Earth certain person started laughing maniacally.

"Muahahahahaha... MUAHAHAHAHAHA...**MUAHAHAHAHAHA**!"

**()()()**

**Author Notes**

**1. In this fic Dark Magic doesn't have any psychological effects on it's users. **

**2. 99% wizards are incompetent in combat, with one good DADA teacher every six years (and said teacher was deatheater in disguise) how can ANYONE not get killed in first seconds of a real fight? **

**3. Killing Curse sucks. It's not a battle spell, 6 syllables and a PAUSE, you could throw 2 reductors at someone as you do not need pause between them. In some fic I read that Voldie fires off AK in 0,5 sec... does this mean that most powerful wizards would auctioneers? They speak very VERY fast.**

**4. Why Reducto only? As certain martial artist said "I fear not the man who has practiced ten thousand kicks once. But I fear the man who has practiced one kick ten thousand times."**

**5. Blood magic is supposed to be overpowered, that's the real reason government banned it.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author notes**

**I do not own Harry Potter **

**My English is atrocious... whatever that means.**

**()()()**

**Draco & Ginny**

**()()()**

Previous episode of Lies, More Lies and Even MORE Lies

"Giuseppe, I have to tell you something."

"What is it Luiza?"

"Huanito is not your son, he is your... brother!" Cue dramatic music.

In today's episode of Lies, More Lies and Even MORE Lies

"Honey, I'm home!" Draco Malfoy walked out of the fireplace and immediately ducked a _Reducto _aimed at his head. "At least she isn't using Unforgivables"

_Avada Kedavra_

"Should have kept my mouth shut." Draco complained as poorly aimed Killing Curse blown up a vase standing on the fireplace.

"I hate you Malfoy!" His wannabe assassin, formerly known as Ginevra Molly Weasley, became visible.

Draco fixed the damage. He thought about sitting but decided against it as it would limit his ability to dodge, rather than that he positioned himself behind large chair that could provide some cover against Killing Curse.

"Weasley, I know you are stupid but even you had to notice that your name is now Malfoy."

"Ha! Who is stupid? You just called me Weasley you idiot!"

"Well fuck. I was calling you that way for nearly seven years, it's hard to change this habit. And you should stop trying to kill me. Doctor said that stress is bad for our child."

Ginevra huffed and sat on the couch still playing with her wand.

"Like you care about 'our' child. If he dies you will be able to divorce me and marry that bint Parkinson. That's what you wanted to do all the time!"

"Oh I do care. Thanks to 'our' little Scorpius my father is securing many alliances with Light sided families. Thanks to Malfoy money Prophet is portraying us as romantic couple forced by two evil men – Dumbledore and Voldemort to fight against each other. Now Dumbledore is loosing his support every day."

"What?! I will tell my father about this! He will uncover your lies!"  
"My dear wife, your father was first one to join. Dumbledore promised him part of the Potter fortune, now with it gone he doesn't have reason to support old man any longer. Now your father is supporting Traditionalists as he was before Dark Lord rose to power."

"How do you know that? It was supposed to be a secret... wait, you have been feeding Potter your own potions! That's why he broke up with me! It's your fault you damn bastard!"

"I beg your pardon but I do know who my parents are. Also yes, I tried feeding Potter love potions. As you have noticed this plan to get his fortune has failed."

"But why? You are a guy, no one would believe that you two love each other."  
"You would be surprised how many people would love to see the two of us together. It would be so romantic, members of opposite camps during war find love in the arms of the enemy, not only that – they are both same sex! Only more popular pairing is me and that mudblood Granger. But with Potter I could find some stupid law that would force him to marry me due to my Veela heritage, thus giving me control over his fortune."

"Veela heritage? Who are you trying to fool. There is no such thing as a male Veela."

"Dear Ginny, I suspected you are an idiot, but you had to open your mouth and prove me right. How do you think little Veelas are made? Daddy Veela meets mommy Veela and nine months later baby Veela is born. Don't tell me you thought that little Veelas are found in cabbage?"

"No... of course not. I just never heard about male Veela, that's all."

"Well, male Veelas do not have avian forms and allure so it's not surprising that they are ignored."

"So... 'dear' husband, how was your day?"

"Oh, the usual. Some mudblood has taken Black seat and renamed that lordship to White, he then killed Lestrange when that idiot challenged White to a Honor Duel."

"Does this mean that this White guy now has Lestrange seat?"

"Really? You serious? What was your family doing for the past eighteen years? No one explained you how Wizengamot works? And you call yourself a pureblood?"

"My family was ancient when your ancestors have arrived to Britain with their tails behind their legs so do not insult my heritage you half-breed!"

"Now you speak like one of us. No, if Honor Duels gave winner title of the looser people would be killing each other day and night until there would be only one. One Lord to rule them all."

"What happened after Lestrange got himself killed?"  
"Dumbledore went into his 'poor man, killed in such a horrible way' only to get shot down by White who asked old man if killing Lestrange in non-horrible way would be alright. After that we went to normal business. With votes my father secured we managed to pass Muggleborn Registration Act. White voted in it's favor, which is quite strange when you remember that he got his seat from Potter."

"Who is this White? Is he handsome?"

"According to father White isn't his real name. He changed it before coming to Britain to unsure that his actions here don't affect his brother's business in America. I only know that White doesn't have proper magical education, he only used two spells during duel. Father will try to secure alliance with him, despite his name White uses dark magic without issues. He finished off Lestrange with a Killing Curse."

"Another dark wizard."  
"Oh would you stop that already? Less than ten minutes ago you have thrown a Killing Curse at me!"

"You have no proof that it was me!"

"There was no one else inside!"

"It could be one of the house elves, or assassin, or Lord Nabilius! He broke into Gringotts and destroyed Hogwarts. Breaking into our house should be easy for him."

"Very funny. I know it was you!"

"Can you prove that?"

And so the life of Ginevra Molly Malfoy and her husband Draco Weird Name Malfoy continued.

Next episode of Lies, More Lies and Even MORE Lies.

"Draco, I have to tell you something."

"What is it father?"

"I am not your real father. Your real father is... Dumbledore"

"Nooooooooo!" Cue dramatic music.

**()()()**

**Fred & George**

**()()()**

Inside old muggle bunker located several miles away from Ottery St Catchpole Fred and George Weasley were discussing their finances. The bunker was used to conduct more 'interesting' experiments, the shop in Diagon Alley was very well known place and doing those experiments there could attract too much unwanted attention. True, they were doing some experimenting there but it were harmless pranks, something that was widely accepted and ignored by this point.

"Things don't look good brother."

"I agree, we can't continue spending money like this. The official income barely allows us to pay day to day expenses, no way we can use that for more interesting things."

"True. It hurts me to say that, but our mother was right. Using joke shop as a cover up was not very good idea from the financial point of view. Kids buying our products are limited in their spending by what their parents give them and our jokes are not very popular among adults, especially parents."

"Don't say that. The shop is a great cover for our illegal dealings."

Technically speaking Fred and George Weasley didn't break any laws. Magical Britain had no laws about producing and selling magical weapons or other combat items, mostly because no one ever came up with such idea.

And so two brothers started making magical weapons. Hats that give temporary invisibility, bracelets that create shields and allow person to attack with wand, necklaces that revives person after being hit with a stunner, robes that can survive getting hit by weak slashing curses, wand handles that prevent person from being disarmed, small explosives that cause blinding light, powder to reveal invisible persons lurking around and many, many more. Those items weren't 'weapons' in a normal meaning of the word as it's hard to arm a wizard in a something better than a piece of wood that can kill with two words and some fancy hand waving. It's not easy to be a weapon dealer when every eleven year old kid is armed with a lethal weapon.

"Yes, but it sucks as a legal source of income. Not only that, due to Riddle's death we now do not have an illegal source of income."  
"What about this Dark Lord in south east Europe? His name is Gargamel or something."

"He's a small fry. His forces, if you can call them such, are more annoyance than a threat to anyone. He is also broke so no money from him."

"It leaves us with Lord Nabilius."

"I doubt he needs our help. I am quite sure that he either has other sources or his own people make all the things he needs. Not only that, no one knows how to contact him! So we have no way to offer our products to him, it's not that we can put ad in the Prophet."

And another pain of weapon dealers. The government won't pay you, they will simply confiscate your stuff and use it for free. The good guys won't pay you, they will expect to be supplied for free to 'fight against the evil'. This leaves only the bad guys, they usually have money and by default are outlaws so breaking some additional laws (that didn't even exist in Britain) isn't a problem for them.

"This leaves us with our usual clients, but they have no need for our products."

"So let's create a situation when they will need to buy our items. Lord Nabilius stays quiet for now, probably preparing something big. We on the other hand can cause some mayhem in his name, it's not that he can go to DMLE and say 'Hey! It wasn't me who blown up those shops in Diagon Alley!'"

"Those shops like... Zonko?"

"And several others. We would need some mercenaries to attack population, only stunners and some other nonlethal curses. After that mercs can run free and rob everyone around. It should create enough chaos for our clients to return to us."

"Nonlethal? How do we explain that? All other Dark Lords killed as many people as possible."  
"And all of them have failed. Lord Nabilius is smarter, he doesn't wish to kill random people, it's hard to rule an empty country. We will tell that to mercenaries and add penalty for causing death during raid. We will have to hire someone outside Britain, local mercs are to dumb to complete such a difficult job."

"I will check our contacts."

**()()()**

**Mysterious Person**

**()()()**

Mysterious Person in black robes and hood over the face appeared from nowhere in the middle of Harry's hotel room.

"Who are you?" Hermione immediately raised her wand but the figure was faster.

_Stupefy_

Hermione tried to dodge incoming spell but after a year of quiet living and peace she was out of shape. The spell managed to hit her causing her to fall to the ground unconscious.

**()()()**

**15 minutes earlier.**

On the other side of the planet on a small mysterious island on not so mysterious Pacific Ocean near quite mysterious Japan a very mysterious person wearing a black robes was watching digital counter.

"Soon the entire world shall be mine! My ultimate weapon is nearly complete! Muahahahahaha!"

On the counter numbers were decreasing.

3...

2...

1...

DING!

The sound spread out through entire compound, Mysterious Person took out a plastic cup from The Ultimate Weapon of Mass Destruction aka microwave oven and looked at it.

"Ah... instant ramen." Mysterious Person ate the ramen and left The Mysterious Laboratory aka the kitchen.

The walls of The Mysterious Secret Base were made of black basalt. The island was created due to volcanic eruption. Rocks under the surface of the sea made it nearly impossible to reach it that way, not that anyone had any reason to try as the entire island was barren. The secret base was build over a decade ago with magic, most of it was underground but some elements like a hidden helipad had to be placed on the surface. The living area was large enough to hold hundred people in comfortable conditions, only limiting factor were supplies. Right now only three people were living there, soon it would be only two. The base was protected by multiple wards, but it's biggest protection was secrecy. It wasn't possible to spot it from air, magical detectors couldn't pierce thick basalt rocks and there were no wards on the surface for them to spot. The base even had a secret underwater dock for small submarines allowing supplies to be delivered underwater with completely non-magical means.

"Hello pumpkin, where are you going?" Mysterious Person was interrupted by a tall blond female.

"I am returning to Britain to join Dark Lord and aid him in his conquest of that country."

"That's so sweet. Don't forget to pack your warm underwear and write to us before your wedding. Daddy would love to meet Harry."

"I'm not wearing any underwear mummy, it would only come in the way when I will be seducing Dark Lord."

"Of course sweetheart, how silly of me. Have a safe trip."

Mysterious Person hurried toward her destination. It was a small room without any kind of furniture, the walls were covered in various arcane runes and drawings, on the floor was a large pentagram surrounded by two circles that had long rune words written between them. Mysterious Person entered pentagram and took out the wand. After many complicated wand movements and long chanting in a language slightly resembling Latin Mysterious Person vanished in a flash of light.

**()()()**

**Lord Castor White**

**()()()**

Harry considered his day quite successful, he killed one ex-Deatheater, pissed off the entire Wizengamot and the Minister. Rest of the Wizengamot session was rather boring, people all over the place were arguing about some new law that required muggleborns to prove that they have at least one magical parent or grandparent, without that they would be denied magical education. The official reason behind the law was that muggleborns without magical relatives are stealing purebloods magic. It was so stupid that only purebloods would believe it,

Harry started reading the law to see what it was really about. After short lecture he found the real reason – money. Ministry or rather their employees wanted some additional source of income and such law would get them one, namely bribes. After muggleborn was denied education a Ministry employee would show up and inform the parents that without magical education the child would probably die, then the employee would show slightly illegal and expensive way to get the accepted into Hogwarts Harry suspected that with access to Ministry records they would make one grandparent a squib thus allowing the muggleborn to receive education or do nothing at all, it's not that muggleborn's parents could go to DMLE with this. The whole 'stealing magic' was justification for Wizengamot members who would love to see muggleborns denied the education at Hogwarts.

Right now fellow Wizengamot wasn't arguing whether or not accept muggleborns into Hogwarts (they agreed to not accept them), but what to do with untrained 'wizards'. Harry almost laughed at their logic – according to them muggleborns get their magic by stealing it from purebloods at Hogwarts, yet now Wizengamot argues what to do with accidental magic done by untrained muggleborns who never visited Hogwarts and by Wizengamot's own logic couldn't even HAVE magic at their disposal.

Harry watched the discussion for over three hours, three hours of constant shouting, bickering and name calling. Three hours and they couldn't reach any decision. Malfoy's faction wanted to keep those muggleborns in special camps where accidental magic would only harm other muggleborns. Dumbledore wanted to leave those muggleborns alone, when they die Ministry will cover up everything with obliviations, just like they did since introduction of Statue of Secrecy. Both factions lacked majority and tried to convince neutrals to their point of view. Usually neutrals would vote same as Dumbledore only to get some money from Dark families to change that vote, now Dark families didn't want to spend their limited supply of money and neutrals knew that. Due to this neutrals could actually vote like they wanted to, the problem was most of them didn't know what they wanted. To be honest, Harry had enough.

"SILENCE." The entire hall become silent as Harry shouted with spell magnified voice, he canceled his spell and continued. "Thank you. Now, I understand that Lord Malfoy wished to create concentration camps for muggleborns. I will tell you something, it won't work. Building and maintaining those camps will be expensive, you have to feed people inside, pay the guards, obliviate ALL muggles that knew about those missing kids and what do you get in return? Nothing. I will ask you Lord Malfoy, who is going to pay for that?"

Many people were nodding, none of them had thought about financial aspect of Malfoy's idea. The Minister was angry as it would be Ministry who had to complete this entire idea and he didn't wish to waste founds on such thing, there were more important things to be done, like replacing tapestries, or chairs, or a new private bathroom for Minister.

"Now, Chief Dumbledore's idea also has this little problem – who is going to pay for that? Please remember that not all accidental magic is lethal, it could be years for those kids to kill themselves. Years during which Ministry will have to cover every bit of magic they do. Right now we have enough obliviators to keep deliberate magic a secret, will there be enough of them to jump all over the Britain many times a day to cover up accidental magic? I ask you again, who is going to pay for that? Chief Dumbledore? I rather doubt it." Harry sat down. Many people liked those ideas... as long as they didn't have to pay for them. Besides being Lords they were working in Ministry or had family working there, this meant that almost no one wanted budget cuts to pay for some elaborate scheme.

"Lord White, you pointed out important issue. The Ministry does not have enough funds for Lord's Malfoy camps, neither we have enough funds to double or quite possibly triple number of obliviators. Unless Ministry receives additional funds from taxes put on Lord's properties and business we have no way to enforce this new law." Mentioning taxes created many angry murmurs. "Quiet please, Lord White, do you have any idea how to deal with our new problem?"

Harry didn't think of that, now they will want HIM to fix everything... he felt like he was back at Hogwarts and there was new monster lurking around and everyone wanted Boy-Who-Lived to kill it... again.

"Well..." He paused, everyone was looking at him. The silence lasted for nearly a minute when Harry came up with something. "Let's make them someone else problem. Hogwarts had recently some problems. It is British best (and only, but he didn't say that) school of magic and due to those problems it won't be able to accept muggleborns. Under this pretext we could send muggleborns to some other country and let them deal with the problem." Many approving murmurs could be heard. "I understand that France might not accept them due to language barrier but maybe some Commonwealth country? Australia maybe? It's quite far away and muggleborns would have problems to return to Britain without using magic."

"That's brilliant! It would take months for a ship to get to Britain and then we could just send them back again or even throw them into Azkaban for breaking this law!" Some person whom Harry recognized as Cedric's father shouted. Harry somehow managed to not bash his head over the the counter. His comment about difficulties meant that it would be difficult for an eleven year old kid to buy a plane ticket!

Harry wanted those muggleborns to learn magic in Australia or Canada because in almost every country outside Europe (and some in Easter Europe) 'Dark' magic is taught at local NEWT level equivalent of DADA. It was major reason for ICW to split in two – 'conservative' and 'Light' countries of the Western Europe and pretty much rest of the world. The countries that have left ICW have formed several organizations which later joined with mundane United Nations, magical side was simply called Magical United Nations. Australia was better choice than Canada or US as it was very dangerous continent and many 'Dark' spells were taught at OWL level rather than at NEWT level like in many other Magical UN countries.

With Harry ideas new law was quickly passed. There was idea to create similar law applying to Hogwarts graduates but it was shot down when someone pointed out that those muggleborns could simply leave Britain and it would have negative impact on economy. Either way from the this year Hogwarts will be free from muggleborns.

After the session Harry spent some time with Lucius Malfoy and Dumbledore discussing his past and future goals. He has told them the story about his past prepared by Andromeda. When asked how he got lordship from Harry he explained that he used muggle detectives to find the boy and after the failed wedding he offered Harry enough money to start a life somewhere far away. Dumbledore wanted to know where Harry went but he told him that he wasn't told that. Harry only said that he has means to contact himself if a need arises, those were purely muggle ways of contact and so Dumbledore didn't even understand what e-mail was. Both men offered Harry place in their political block, but he refused to commit himself to one of them, claiming that he only needs lordship to get lower tax rates for his new business.

At the evening Harry finally returned to his hotel room only to find it completely refurbished. In front of him was large modern looking throne padded with black leather and with silver armrests. The person sitting on that throne was wearing long black robes with hood hiding his or hers face.

"Welcome, young Potter. I have been expecting you." The voice was definitely feminine.

"Welcome mysterious girl who is probably Luna Lovegood."

Harry finally recognized this place, his room looked like Emperor's Palpatine throne room on second Death Star, it explained why Harry saw stars rather than London through the window behind the throne.

"Oh, no, my young wizard. You will find that it is you who are mistaken...about a great many things."

"Quite right, if you are Luna Lovegood then you can't be mysterious girl." Harry walked toward the window to look at the stars, the throne turned around to face him. "How did you do that? Is this real night sky or did you just paint it in black and added some light dots to represent stars?" He asked Luna.

"You should be angered that I have captured your friend and not ask me about refurbishing the room."

"Oh, you mean Hermione? She is my assistant, our friendship ended before our third year when she decided to inform Albus Dumb Ledore about everything I did."

"But you could at least play along. Please? Pretty Please?"

"Fine. Oh no, you have captured Hermione. Please do not hurt her." Harry's fake concern could be heard even by very thick people like Ronald Weasley. It caused Luna to chuckle. She then stood up facing Harry and removed hood covering her face.

"You are no fun. Tell me Harry, why are you not in Japan."

"Because I am here?"

"Why are you here then?"

"Because I am not in Japan?" Luna blinked several times and looked at Harry with wide open eyes.

"That's not fair, you are not supposed to use my logic against me!" She waved her wand and room returned to it's previous state.

"Why are you here? I thought you have left Britain for good."

"Isn't that obvious? You didn't come to Japan and because of that the entire bathtub of cream and several bowls of strawberries was wasted. I do not want to hear any excuses, it took me most of the day to prepare new cream and get all the strawberries... again. Remove those clothes so I can properly seduce you."

"No offense Luna, but I heard that relationships based entirely on sex do not last long." Luna dropped her robe onto the floor revealing her entire naked body. "On the other hand you have very convincing arguments to try."

"That's great, I have Hermione chained and gagged inside the bedroom, I hope you don't mind her joining us. The poor girl probably never had any good sex before."

"Luna, do you know she has spent nearly week working in a brothel?"

"Of course I know, that's why she never had any good sex. Why do you think so many purebloods have only one child?"

"I have no counterarguments to that."

Rest of the evening... and night... and morning was spent on very strenuous activities. The tree of them left the bedroom around evening after couple hours of sleep.

"Now that we had some rest, Luna could you tell me why did you come back to Britain?" Hermione wanted some answers.

"I already told Harry, he didn't come to Japan so I had to come to Britain to seduce him." Luna said as if it was most obvious thing in the world.

"This doesn't explain anything, why Harry was supposed to go to Japan?" Hermione wasn't surrendering that easy.

"That was my plan until Andromeda visited me after the wedding." Harry explained.

"According to my mommy Harry would leave Britain that day. After arriving to Japan he would inform Daily Prophet about real identity of Lord Nabilius. The fact that average wizard like Ronald Bilius Weasley managed to break into Gringots would cause massive damage to Goblin banks. Many people would withdraw their money feeling that they are no longer secure, this would cause Goblin Nation to not buy back Gringotts from British Ministry. Without those money Ministry would have to increase taxes, they wouldn't tax purebloods because it's simply not done, but taxes for muggleborns and half-bloods would skyrocket. Due to this nearly all muggleborns and half-bloods would leave within two or three months, even Voldemort wasn't able to create such exodus. Without nearly 80% of population British economy would be more dead than Snape's sense of humor. This in turn would cause many purebloods follow muggleborns and leave, before end of the year British magical population would go down to less than three thousands. Ministry would be gutted and without formal government Malfoy or some of his friends would try to take over. The following civil war would wipe out British magicals within next couple years."

"Well, that's not that bad." Harry was wondering if he did the right thing by staying.

"Really? Without Ministry the civil war would cause Magical World to be exposed, it would result in a continent wide war. The war with muggles would wipe out two thirds of magicals living in Europe, rest would be forced to leave."

"Fine, you have convinced me."

"Luna, how do you know that? Are you a seer?" Hermione wasn't satisfied with those answers.

"My mother is."

"But you told us she died."

"Don't be silly Hermione, such thing like accident wouldn't kill a seer. Dumbledore wanted her gone because she was looking into Harry's location and Sirius imprisonment. I knew about Dumbledore's manipulations way before I arrived at Hogwarts, but mommy told me not to reveal anything as I also would be forced to fake my death. Pretending that both of us are dead would have negative effect on daddy."

"So why did you come to Hogwarts?"

"I was hoping that Harry would get super magical powers, or maybe discover that he is the heir to a dozen extinct families and take over Wizengamot, or maybe that he is the heir of the founders and owns Hogwarts, or convince Goblins to aid him in his quest to destroy Dumbledore and Voldemort, or maybe that Harry is actually from the future where Voldemort was defeated by Killing Curse that rebounded at him due to some silly set of circumstances like Harry becoming master of Voldemort's wand by defeating Draco Malfoy."

"How could I become master of Voldie's wand by defeating Malfoy?" That was the most stupid way to defeat Voldemort Harry heard.

"I told you it was due to some silly circumstances. No one would ever believe such silliness. Wands changing ownership after their owner was defeated in some way? It would cause total chaos, every time someone would be disarmed he would have to buy a new wand as the old one would not work for them properly. Add some other means of 'defeating' someone and people would loose control over their wands every couple days without even knowing to whom the wand belongs now. Only someone writing books for children would came up with such a silly idea, possibly to keep main character from actually killing anyone and having bad guy commit suicide."

"So you expected me to defeat master manipulator with over a century of experience, multiple friends in high places, large amount of loyal followers and reputation of most powerful wizard in the Europe, or as British would say – in the entire world?"

"As I said, some _deus ex machina_ would do entire job for you. My other hopes was you getting help from various people like Amelia Bones, Lucius Malfoy, Bellatrix Lestrange or maybe even Tom Riddle who somehow got his entire soul back and decided to not become Voldemort again."

"Amelia Bones? Like hell she would help me. I wrote to her during my fifth year when Umbridge was torturing me with Blood Quill. She bluntly told me it's not her problem and if I waste more of her time she will throw me into Azkaban. I later overheard Susan saying that thanks to my naive action her aunt now has a nice blackmail material against Fudge and Umbridge. She probably tried to use this material to become Minister of Magic but Voldemort crossed those plans by killing her."

Hermione was shocked. "What? Amelia Bones? Everyone was always saying that she was firm but just and that you can trust her to do the right thing."

"Isn't it the same thing as with Dumbledore? Everyone is singing his praises, but all he do is manipulating people from shadows to do the job while he gets the credit." Harry answered her.

Luna continued. "I waited till beginning of your sixth year hoping that you would get Black estate and use it to fund your quest against Voldemort and Dumbledore, or summon a daemon to help you in fight, or escape to South America and become curse breaker, or start traveling the world as a mysterious Dark Lord, or inherit Azkaban for some reason, or my favorite where you and Hermione become world class thieves and Ron becomes Dark Lord of sex."

"Well... the last one almost happened. Ron is a Dark Lord, he just doesn't know it yet. By robbing Gringotts and Hogwarts I could be considered a world class thief. The rest of them is quite interesting, I only do not know how inheriting Azkaban would help me in a fight against two Dark Lords."

"Well, if you inherited Azkaban it would have a secret nation hidden there with huge disciplined and devoted to you army."

"That sounds... convenient."

"_Deus ex machina_ usually is."

"Seeing as nothing like that happened you have left?"

"Yes. You didn't seem to notice Dumbledore's manipulations so I decided to leave. I am truly amazed that you managed to kill Voldemort without dying and returning to life with _deux ex machina's _help. They are not very reliable, you know."

"Wait Luna, Harry did die during Battle. He was hit with Killing Curse in the chest, there is no way he could survive that!" Hermione almost shouted.

"Don't be silly Hermione, of course he survived that. If he didn't we wouldn't have such a wonderful sex, ghosts are rather poor lovers." Luna giggled.

"Girls, stop that. I survived and if you are nice I will even tell you how I did that. Now we have more pressing matter to discuss. Lord Nabilius needs to cause some mayhem and I have idea where to strike, I need your help to figure out how."

"Oh, I love mayhem and destruction. What are we doing, My Lord?" Luna said with a cheerful smile.

"We are going to…" Harry whispered into Luna's ear.

"Yay!" Luna was jumping from excitement.

"What about me?" Hermione huffed.

"Well.. you will try to dissuade us from doing this so I will keep it a secret."

"What? I would not! I can cause mayhem and destruction!" Hermione said with outrage in her voice.

"After which you run to nearest figure of authority to ask for forgiveness." Harry said.

"Don't worry, mu trust in figures of authority is now over. After Dumbledore put me under Imperius and thrown to that place I lost all trust in people like him. So please, tell me what kind of chaos and mayhem you want to cause?" Hermione almost begged.  
"Fine, I am planning to..."

**()()()**

**Draco & Ginny**

**()()()**

"Nooooooooo!"

"Draco." Ginny shook her husband. "Draco!"

"Wha? What happened?" Draco woke up. He was sitting on a couch in Malfoy mansion, an empty bottle of Firewhisky was standing on a table next to him.

"I don't know. I just arrived and heard you screaming."

"I had a nightmare. It was terrible."

"Poor Draco. Dify."

Small House-elf appeared.

"Yes, Mistress?"

"Unpack my bags in my room and prepare a bath for two of us."

"Yes, Mistress." With a pop elf and all shrunken bags disappeared. Married life certainly suited Ginevra. Gone were jeans and home-made sweaters. Ginevra was now wearing expensive black robes, silver and gold jewelry, make-up and had fashionable hairstyle that looked like someone tied her hair at random places on her head, but as every male knows - you don't discuss with fashion.

"So Draco, tell me what happened in your dream." Ginny placed herself on couch next to Draco and started to play with his long silky hair.

"Terrible. You were acting like that mudblood Granger, completely ignorant about our world. I had to explain you Veelas, Wizengamot, Honor Duels and current political situation. You acted like you didn't even know that our fathers are now allied!" Draco almost shouted last words.

"Truly terrible. Let me guess, I was wearing those cheap clothes I had at Hogwarts?"

"Yes, exactly that. You even tried to assassinate me, you missed me from ten feet! At some point I suddenly found myself with my father in his office. He told me that Dumbledore is my real father, for some reason I started shouting. Why would I do that? If Dumbledore was my father I could get huge amount of political capital from that."

"Don't worry Draco, it was all a dream. Now our bath is probably ready so let's go and have some fun."

**()()()**

**Diagon Alley, three days later.**

**()()()**

Two dozen black robed people apparated directly into Diagon Alley. They were all masked, but while Deatheaters wore large domino masks, those people were wearing gray cloth with large black stains covering their entire face. If one looked closer he could see that those large stains were constantly changing their shape and location. People around them looked at newcomers not knowing what to expect. For several seconds entire Diagon Alley stood still, then the leader (or so witness thought) shouted:

"For Lord Nabilius!"

The hell brook loose. Masked attackers were throwing spells left and right, over a dozen people were hit with their first barrage. People started to running away, many screamed, children cried. Due to chaos many people swarmed Diagon Alley exit only to be easily picked up by attackers, there was no place to hide or dodge. Within two minutes only people in Diagon Alley were Dark Lord followers, they didn't lost a single fighter as no one tried fighting back.

Half an hour later Albus Dumbledore and Minister of Magic Rufus Scrimgeour arrived to witness destruction personally. Many shops in alley were burning, Zonko was completely destroyed. The street was littered with bodies, most of them lied next to entrance to Leaky Cauldron. Very few people managed to escape. Aurors accompanying them scattered to see if there were any survivors, Albus and Rufus only stood on the outskirts under privacy charm.

"I told you Rufus, we need to send search parties to the mainland, The New Chosen One has to be found."

"I understand Albus, but it would be easier if you told us WHO are we searching, I can hardly send Aurors to every brothel in Europe and have them ask girls working there if they are destined to fight Lord Nabilius. Unless you have better idea that is?"

"We have to search for person who... 'took' Chosen One from her place of residence."

"Yes, that would make things easier if we knew how that man was called! We have his description, nothing more."

"Dear Merlin. So many dead, Rufus you have to find Chosen One, without her we stand no chance against this evil. See this young man?" Albus pointed at man lying next to them. "He was a very talented muggleborn, Head Boy during his seventh year and now he is lying here dead."

"I'm not dead." The lying man moaned.

"Nonsense my boy, I said you are dead so please die. You wouldn't want to disappoint your Headmaster and Minister, wouldn't you?"

"I never attended Hogwarts you moron. Now help me or at least call Aurors if you are too dumb to provide aid." The man was clearly in pain.

"I am still British Minister of Magic and you have to respect me!" Scrimgeour shouted.

"I am a tourist! I don't give a shit about your stupid titles."

"Silence! Albus told me you are dead so you are. Now shut up or I will have you thrown into Azkaban." Minister shouted at man-who-was-not-dead.

"Rufus, I do not see how throwing a corpse into Azkaban will help our situation." Dumbledore said trying to calm Minister.

"I am not a CORPSE!" Shouted the man. Dumbledore canceled privacy charms and called out leading Auror ignoring the man on the ground.

"What is the situation?"

"Everyone were stunned. There are no dead, only some wounded. Also all people were robbed. Their gold, jewelry, wands and any other items of value were stolen." Auror reported.

"What do you mean no dead? What about this man? He is quite dead." Minister pointed at the man lying on the ground.

"I am NOT dead."

"The corpse spoke! Minister, did you see that?" Auror was shocked.

"Yes, it's quite annoying corpse. Trying to fool us into believing it is alive." Minister continued.

"Because I AM alive!"

"What kind of dark magic could do that? Minister I and my team are not equipped to deal with this, I think we need to call Unspeakables." Young Auror said.

"Quite right my boy, we have to find out how Lord Nabilius thugs desecrated those corpses, how can dead person speak?"

"I have fallen and broken multiple bones in my body and now cannot move! I am not DEAD. Give me some help you frigging idiots!"

"I shall summon Unspeakables immediately, Minister." Young Auror disappeared with a loud CRACK.

"A screw it, should have never come to this third world country." Another CRACK was heard when man-who-was-not-dead disappeared.

"Dumbledore, did you see that? The talking Inferi apparated! I finally agree with you, we need The New Chosen One immediately, Lord Nabilius can create Inferi using magic!" Minister said with panic in his voice.

**()()()**

The next day Daily Prophet announced that Lord Nabilius is even more powerful than He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named-Even-After-His-Death. According to Prophet the death toll of the last attack reached over fifty people, attacking forces consisted of over two hundred dark wizards and powerful magic using Inferius. Dark Lord's forces were chased away by brave Aurors aided by Dumbledore in an epic battle that lasted for several hours and destroyed many shops in Diagon Alley.

When Harry read about it he knew something is fishy about it. After speaking with Andromeda and Ted they managed to discover some facts about that event. With Ted's help they tracked one of the Lord Nabilius 'followers'. They didn't find out identity of people who employed those mercenaries but the fact that they wanted Zonko to be destroyed gave Harry and Ted some hints. Ted confirmed that The Twins were supplying less than legal items to various parties during war, now that war ended so did demand for their products, Ted suspected that the raid was a way to bring back some old customers to them.

After discussing this matter Harry and his Inner Circle decided to do nothing, Weasley Twins were causing chaos and those actions maintained reputation of Lord Nabilius as evil nearly omnipotent Dark Lord. And when people finally find out the real name of Dark Lord Harry won't even have to fake any evidence that Twins worked with Nabilius.

Rather than use Lord Nabilius Harry came up with different idea to pass time, he decided to reveal identity of The New Chosen One.

**()()()**

**Three days after attack**

**()()()**

**The Identity of The New Chosen One ™ Is Known!**

_**By Randomina Reporterus**_

_**'The one with power to vanquish Dark Lord arrived**_

_**born from the mud on the day pirates talk**_

_**born from the mud forged into third part of gold**_

_**she shall gain power to vanquish Dark Lord as a white slave**_

_**and vanquish Dark Lord as it is a power he knows not**_

_**the one with power to vanquish Dark Lord arrived'**_

That was The Prophecy made by Sybill Trelawney at 28 July 1999. The Prophecy was heard by Albus Dumbledore (Chief Warlock, Supreme Mugwump of ICW, Order of Merlin 1st Class, Headmaster of Hogwarts) and guests of Leaky Cauldron where The Prophecy was made. Immediately after hearing It Albus Dumbledore declared he knew to whom The Prophecy applied and disapparated supposedly to find The New Chosen One ™

During the following weeks Albus Dumbledore refused to give away the identity of The New Chosen One ™ even to the members of Wizengamot or the Minister Scrimgeour himself. There were rumors about The New Chosen One ™ disappearing but Headmaster Dumbledore demented all of them saying that our Savior is simply training for her role as a defeater of Dark Lord Nabilius. Now we know it was a lie. The New Chosen One ™ was residing in prestigious escort agency in Knocturn Alley until her services were permanently bought from said agency by a foreign wizard. Now after three weeks The New Chosen One ™ has send us a letter. This is the entire unabridged letter sent to our redaction.

_Dear Daily Prophet and Magical People of Great Britain._

_My name is Hermione Granger but you better know me as The New Chosen One, I shouldn't probably use this name as Daily Prophet had it trademarked. Still I am not afraid of legal action against me as I no longer reside in Britain. If you do not believe that The Prophecy (why didn't you trademarked this as well I don't know) refers to me here is it's interpretation._

_**The one with power to vanquish Dark Lord arrived **_

_Clearly means that person to whom prophecy refers was alive when the prophecy was made. Check._

_**born from the mud **_

_'Mudblood' is well known insult used for muggleborns like myself, it suggests that me and my parents have dirt or mud in our blood. I won't try to explain how stupid that is as no one could survive with mud in a bloodstream, but I never considered British purebloods to be smart. Check._

_**(born) on the day pirates talk **_

_It is a little known custom among muggles to give days stupid names, like 'International Talk Like a Pirate Day' which refers to 19__th__ September, my birthday. Check._

_**born from the mud forged into third part of gold **_

_During my Hogwarts days Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley and me were often called 'The Golden Trio' I think even purebloods can grasp that explanation. Check._

_**she shall gain power to vanquish Dark Lord as a white slave**_

_**and vanquish Dark Lord as it is a power he knows not**_

_**the one with power to vanquish Dark Lord arrived**_

_The rest of the so called 'prophecy' claims that I will gain some sort of 'power' that I will use to vanquish 'Dark Lord'. I shall gain that 'power' by being a 'white slave' which is euphemism (Euphemism is a generally innocuous word or expression used in place of one that may be found offensive or suggest something unpleasant. I doubt many of purebloods knew that so I explained it just in case.) for a 'whore'. I am very sorry to hurt your subtle eyes by this very awful word, except I'm not! During that week spent there I have truly gained a new 'power', the power of cynicism. You see, the person who dumped me into that place was no one else than Albus Percival Brian Wulfric Dumbledore. Oh, I am sure he did this for The Greater Good of Magical World or some other bullshit like that, but his action allowed me to see that The Emperor Has No Clothes. To those who do not understand this expression (which is majority of you as it comes from a muggle child story) I will explain – it refers to a situation where majority of people willingly ignore obvious facts. I won't go into details to explain those facts, my new power of cynicism tells me that you will ignore them either way, so if you wish to watch the naked Emperor then so be it. My days of playing a hero are now over._

_I will repeat it again as you could miss it – I will no longer act as a typical heroic Gryffindor. _

_For those who still do not get it:_

_**I WONT FIGHT LORD NABILIUS FOR YOU!**_

_Do not try to look for me, do not try to convince me, do not try to beg. I don't care._

_Hating your guts_

_Hermione Granger_

_The New Chosen One _

_Member of Golden Trio_

_Order of Merlin 2__nd__ Class_

_Mudblood_

Both Albus Dumbledore and Minister Scrimgeour refused to comment.

From more cheerful news Daily Prophet wishes to congratulate everyone who placed their bets on Miss Granger name in our lottery. The winning money can be obtained in our main office in Diagon Alley during working hours.

**()()()**

**1****st**** October, Kings Cross Station, Platform 9 and ¾ **

**()()()**

By looking at the crowd on the platform one would not notice that one fifth students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was gone. From over one hundred muggleborns only three of them were attending this year and technically speaking they were not muggleborns as one of their grandparents was a squib thus making them half-bloods. The person who came up with this new law to get some graft money was now very unhappy. Not even one muggleborn or their parent wanted to pay for 'proving' that their grandparent was a squib. There were more than three muggleborns who actually had squibs in family (or in one case even a witch as a grandmother) but most of them jumped at the idea of studying in Australia. The poor Ministry employee never understood why they would want to switch ancient (but recently rebuilt) castle in Scotland to some modern muggle built school in Australia. The concept of recreational visits to the beach and various activities like sunbathing, surfing, or beach volleyball was almost unknown in Magical Britain. The fact that Australian school charged only one third of what Hogwarts did was only icing on a cake. The Ministry employee who read pamphlets from Australian schools thought that they charge more as he thought that the price was in Galleons. Unfortunately for him the price was in British pounds which was indicated by the £ symbol, the symbol not known by most purebloods.

Right now only people who could be more unhappy than several employees of British Ministry were two magical people working in Australian embassy, they had to visit over a hundred homes to explain the new British Magical law and offer place in one of the Australian schools. After that there were several magical trips to Australia where parents and children could see the schools. Most tasking was explaining to parents and their children that Australia (and rest of the world) is not full of 'evil dark wizards', a very popular opinion among British magical population. It was very difficult task and in the three cases people from Australian embassy failed to convince parents that they aren't second coming of We-Really-Don't-Know-Who (which was true as they truly didn't know who Voldemort was, their primary job was in non-magical embassy). The worst of all was the paperwork.

Some children complained that their friends are gone, some were happy that Ministry dealt with 'mudbloods', some didn't care. As departure hour was coming closer children were boarding the train, goodbyes were said, some last minute hugs exchanged and Hogwarts Express was ready to go. Punctually at 11 A.M. The train gave a loud whistle and... disappeared with a loud CRAK.

**()()()**

**Rest of Author notes.**

**I do know what 'atrocious' means, thus the warning in the beginning.**

**As I do not have any good ideas how to deal with our favorite potion master I 'm asking for yours. Most interesting ones will be used.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Welcome to yet another chapter of your favorite poorly written fanfiction. Traditionally we start with author notes.**

**I do not own Harry Potter **

**This story has a somewhat interesting plot but is rather poorly written, you have been warned.**

**()()()**

**2****nd**** September**

**New Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Headmaster's office**

**()()()**

The new Headmaster's office had nearly nothing in common with the old one. It was located on the top of the highest tower which was located in the middle of the new castle. The walls and ceiling were made from transparent crystal and allowed people inside the office to watch over the entire castle and it's surrounding grounds. The office hold only two pieces of furniture, a huge U-shaped desk and a throne like chair for the Headmaster. The desk was so large that to get something from it's side one had to stand up and walk to it or use magic to get it. Despite not being very practical it had served it's primary purpose - to show off the importance of the man behind it. According to Dumbledore the lack of other furniture and empty transparent walls also helped to maintain image that person residing in the office, namely him, was someone of great importance (the truth was that you can't hang anything on those walls as it's back will be visible from the outside, but Dumbledore found out about it after his new office was made). There were only two ways to get into the new office, a hidden entrance to Headmaster's private set of rooms and a public entrance located in the center of the room. From that entrance emerged Severus Snape.

It was second day of his stay in this new castle, for most of the summer Snape lived in an undisclosed location with many powerful wards cast on his house, he cut off all contact with the outside world during that time thus he was quite shocked to see what happened during past several months. Snape spent previous day on reading the newspapers from past two months and preparing his new quarters and classroom. It would take some time for the classroom to get a good gloomy atmosphere, but with some proper charms he should finish before 1st October, after all he couldn't allow children to learn in a well lit and ventilated classroom. Unfortunately Headmaster had summoned him interrupting his very important task.

"Blasted desk, I can't do anything around here." Dumbledore was annoyed, the desk was to large to comfortably use and too small to keep all important documents and books. He regretted ordering his new office being made that way.

"Headmaster, did you wish to see me?" Snape announced his presence.

"Oh yes, Severus. I have a very important task for you. Lord Nabilius is proving to be quite troublesome. Destruction of the Gringotts was very helpful, thanks to him those troublesome Goblins won't stand in our way any longer. Losing Hogwarts on the other hand was disastrous. I have lost most of my blackmail material, due to that my political block is falling apart. We have to find Granger and use her to gather support."

Severus Snape was, as Evil Overlord List would say, Dumbledore's 'trusted lieutenant'. He knew most of the plans made by Headmaster and he helped execute quite a lot of them. Most successful and difficult one was destruction of the wannabe Dark Lord Tom Riddle aka 'Lord' Voldemort. They could kill Voldemort any time they wanted. The goal was to kill him in a 'proper' way and that required several years of planning and nearly two decades of implementation.

"I understand Headmaster that you wish me to brew Localization Potion? You are aware that my stock of the more questionable potion ingredients was also destroyed?" Snape inquired the old man.

"I am aware of that Severus, I have contacted Mister Diego in Spain and prepared a Portkey that will take you to him. The Portkey will leave in two hours, I believe that is enough time for you to prepare?" Snape nodded. "Here is the gold for the purchase, I hope it will be enough, if not feel free to use our accounts in Spain." Dumbledore handed Snape bag with gold.

"I understand. Now if you do not mind I have to prepare."

"Of course, Severus. Have a safe trip." Snape has took the Portkey and left.

The entire conversation was being relayed to certain hotel room in London, courtesy of a laser microphone installed near the castle and aimed at Dumbledore's office. In said room conversation was watched by a single blond haired girl. Harry, Hermione and Ted has left to Eastern Europe to finalize purchases of the farmlands thus the decision what to do was left to Luna.

"I am sure professor will appreciate that several parts of him will have a chance to become something he loves..." Luna said as she was making a floo call to a certain pair of 'curse breakers'.

**()()()**

**Two hours later**

**Somewhere in Spain**

**()()()**

Severus Snape appeared in an old mundane looking magazine. He was well used to the long range Portkey travel and as soon as he regained his balance he did fool sweep of the surrounding area. He saw only one person standing there, supposedly his contact but one could never be sure when dealing with illegal business, especially when his supposed contact was wearing muggle suit rather than traditional robes. The man himself looked like average thirty year old, which meant nothing if he was a wizard, polijuice was quite common when it came to illegal dealings. Unfortunately Snape's stock was destroyed along with Hogwarts and he didn't have time to brew a new one.

"Are you that British guy Snip?" The man said with audible Spanish accent.

"My name is Snape. Do you have the required items?"

"Sorry about that, had to make sure I got the right guy." Those words made Snape nervous, before he could apparate he felt a little sting in the back of his neck and after that Snape felt no more.

Severus Snape has awaken. He noted that his situation wasn't very good, he was half naked and tied to a bed in a dark room. He tried apparition but a huge headache told him that wards are present. His 'official' emergency portkey was gone, he had a second one – a small piece of metal hidden under the skin, unfortunately it was also gone. Knowing that he won't walk away from that he looked for a small capsule hidden in his tooth... it was also gone, whoever has captured him was a high class professional.

He heard door being opened and suddenly his eyes were assaulted by a very bright light right in front of him. After a few seconds he managed to open his eyes to see the room around him. He looked at the source of light above, it was a surgical lamp but Snape didn't know that. He was in the well equipped operating room, but again as a wizard he didn't know what all the devices around him do, for him it was a muggle torture chamber. Unfortunately it wasn't that far from the truth in this case.

"Ah, Mister Snape. It's so good you have awakened." The man who entered the room said with a calm voice.

Snape saw a man wearing a strange blue robes, a very weird gloves and a blue hat. The man's mouth and nose was covered in a blue mask made from simple material. In a normal circumstances Snape would say that said man wasn't very threatening, the circumstances were far from normal.

"Do you expect me to talk?"

"No mister Snape, I expect you to die." The man chuckled and continued. "Goldfinger, great movie. We even have a laser scalper around here, unfortunately it is not powerful enough co cut through the entire human body."

Snape didn't understand any of that, he heard about fingers made of silver, but gold? And what was that lay-zer thing? Some torture device probably.

"If you want me dead, why bother will all of that?"

"Because Mister Snape you, or your body to be precise, will provide us with a hefty profit."

The realization hit Snape, this man will harvest him for potion ingredients!

"No, it's not what you think Mister Snape. That's only a rumor we started a while ago, magicals would never understand the true purpose of 'acquiring' bodies. Selling your whole organs is much more profitable than turning them into ingredients. By the way, do you as a potion master even know any potions requiring human body parts? No? Thought so. Let me explain this to you, we have some time before I start and I always wanted to do a villainous monologue."

The man gagged Snape and started preparing equipment for the operation, he did it in a way that would allow Snape to see all the 'tools' he had.

"Did you know Mister Snape that with our magic organs transplanted from a wizard or a witch are never rejected? Add the ability to keep them in stasis for indefinite amount of time and 'harvesting' a single wizard like yourself can earn us about ten to twenty million dollars on the black market. That's about fifteen million pounds or three million galleons. Obviously with several potions we can easily and safely regrow organs, only reason it's not commonly done is that many people who loose some crucial organs do not live long enough to give them said potion. Other are too stubborn to take it, I heard that there was a British Auror that has lost an eye and one of his legs, yet he refused the treatment. Maybe because said potion was discovered by a muggleborn? You probably have heard of her, Lilly Evans a brilliant potion mistress. Unfortunately in your case we won't be using that potion to fix the damage. Our client also had a special request, in normal case we use Drought of Living Death to keep person alive yet without any life signs allowing us to perform operation and provide them with the potion to regrow lost organs before waking them up. It's much easier to pay for a willing subject than search for a recently dead body. In your case our client has requested a special version of the Drought – you will be fully aware of what's happening to you for the entire time. After we finish we will dump you in your British hospital, if they manage to fix you, great. If not? Well, you can blame your nation's prejudices for your death." The door to the room opened and another person has entered. "Ah, my assistant has finished the potion, shall we start?" The surgeon has raised a small saw and activated it for a second with an audible buzz. At that point Snape would rather face another insane mass murdering Dark Lord than stay there with those people, but he had no choice and as soon as the potion was forced into his throat he had lost ability to move. After that there was only pain.

**()()()**

**1****st**** October**

**()()()**

Magical ways of travel are rather limited. One can use a broom, floo, apparition or a portkey. There was no known way to move large objects using any of those, this caused the trade in the Magical World to be rather limited. Most nations were self sufficient as the only way to move goods between destinations is to pack them inside magically enlarged bags and use available transport to get to the destination. The Flying Carpets that could hold large amount of goods were banned in the every ICW country. That was why when Harry proposed to use a portkey to hijack the Hogwarts Express both girls thought he was insane. Of course, this caused Luna to immediately love that idea and Hermione to claim that it was impossible. The portkey could only move several people touching it, it had an advantage over apparition as it didn't cause 'splinching', it allowed for much accurate travel, it allowed for various triggers to initiate travel and most importantly – after it was made anyone could use it, the only thing the user had to know was how to activate the portkey. The Harry reminded two girls that the portkey transports one more thing – itself. If they turned a train car into a portkey the car would transport itself and everyone touching it. It should even transport everything else that is inside but that was to be tested.

The plan was relatively simple, Hermione and Luna created a set of coordinates and Harry started turning train cars into portkeys, it caused some trouble as a single casting drained Harry for a day. But even with this drawback they were ready for the start of the school year. The portkey has transported the train two miles west of the British coast and... fifty miles high in the air. Fortunately for the passengers the charms on the train prevented the luggage from flying around and injuring them, the charms extended to the passengers making them ignore acceleration thus the first thing the children noticed was a sudden lack of their parents, siblings, older and younger friends and... the station itself. Second thing they noticed was lack of the ground under them, or rather the ground was there... fifty miles away. On this day many magical raised children also learned that Earth is not flat as they thought. Then the screaming has started.

The children were not the only people who panicked at that moment, sudden appearance of a such large object caused many radar operators in the Western Europe to become highly distressed. No one knew if the object was a meteor, some sort of a plane, a nuclear warhead or even an alien ship. Royal Air Force has scrambled a pair of fighters and sent them to watch the area where the 'object' was supposed to land (or as some said – crash). When the fighters arrived they saw a steam train full of children. One of the pilots even flew next to the train and watched as the engine driver calmly waved at him and even greeted him with a long whistle the pilot managed to hear despite all the noise around.

When the train reached altitude of ten miles it started to slow down, Hermione of all people demanded to add this little feature. It caused radar operators and pilots accompanying the train to be even more surprised, the train has slowed down to eighty eight miles per hour and when it reached five miles altitude it disappeared leaving only two parallel lines of fire on what it should be it's path. The event was quickly made top secret and conveniently forgotten, even without memory charms bureaucracy can do wonders to 'forget'. Some rumors about it managed to reach the press, but only one tabloid decided to mention it.

The Hogwarts Express has reappeared several minutes later in the same spot it has left. Adults on the platform rushed into the train, parents trying to find their kids and check if they are fine, Aurors trying to figure out what has happened, reporters asking hundreds of questions and even the Minister himself shoving that he is doing 'something'. As the kids could only convey what they saw and now what has happened Aurors and the Minister went to the engine driver who managed to answer all their questions . No one ever wondered how a mere engine driver knew that they were transported by a portkey, how high the train has been transported or how fast it was falling down, if they did they could discover that the driver was actually Harry in disguise who took a ride in case the return portkey didn't work and the backup plan had to be used. It was quite obvious that Aurors had little to none knowledge how to conduct a proper investigation.

**()()()**

**2****nd**** October**

**London**

**()()()**

After finally completing his last act of mayhem Harry took both girls for a little sightseeing. Both of them had their share of modern world, Hermione during her summers and Luna in Japan thus they were surprised when he proposed that activity. Their destination was a simple ten floor building. It was a typical modern office building, entire thing was covered in glass. Harry simply stood in front of it and with a wide smile on his face announced.

"Ta-da!" His arms pointing towards the building.

"Bravo." Hermione mockingly clapped her hands. Luna stood and watched the building.

"Oh you people, have some faith. This building is the new headquarters of White Industries. Come on." Harry invited them inside. "First floor will be a foyer, whatever that means. Next three will serve as a mundane administrative center of the company. Fifth floor will do the same but it will be magical administration and sale. We have to figure out wards for that and floo connection."

Harry past through empty reception desk and went to the elevators.

"In the last five floors we will have our library and living quarters." Harry continued when elevator took them to fourth floor.

"Finally, you know how annoying is to move books from one bag to another? I barely managed to do anything." Hermione complained.

"Well, sorry to tell you that but you still won't be able to do much job with that." After the door opened Harry led them to the largest office on the floor. "Hermione, that's because you are the new CEO of White Industries." Harry shoved them door with a golden plate on it saying 'Hermione Granger, Chief Executive Officer'.

"What? Why me?" Hermione was shocked after hearing the news.

"Well, you said you wanted a carrier. The French refused to sell me one of them so I will provide you with second best thing." Harry explained.

"Harry, you know very well it's not 'carrier' but career. Wait, you actually DID ask them if they would sell you one?" Harry only nodded. "What is it with you and large ships?"

"I thought we could use it as a luxury cruise ship. It would require rebuilding but with magic it shouldn't be that difficult. We would have enough space for everything, library, main offices, living quarters, guest rooms, helipad. Heck, we could buy some illegal gunships and raid ex-Deatheater manors. Let's get inside, there is no point in standing when we can sit in an comfortable chairs."

"Harry, I hate to break your fun, but manors are warded in a way that fires all electronics." Hermione said after they entered. The office was empty. "Uh... you mentioned sitting?"

"Sorry about that, I didn't know what kind of furniture you want, modern glass and steel or more traditional looking wood panels and desk? It's your office so me and Ted left it for you to furnish." Harry quickly conjured some chairs for them.

"Hermione, are you aware that mundanes have long ago created electronics circuits that are resistant to magic? Although it's a side effect as the mayor goal was for them to survive an EMP that is caused by nuclear weapons. It's a pity that Hogwarts never updated their curriculum." Luna said.

"WHAT? Hogwarts is not the best school in Europe?" Hermione was outraged, she always thought that Hogwarts was a prime school in the Europe and quite possibly in the entire world.

"Oh, I am sure it's the best school in the Europe." Luna tried to placate Hermione.

"I don't know Luna, Russia, and many of their ex-satellite states are part of the Magical United Nations. With that population they sure have some good schools out there. Due all that animosity between them they have probably created several schools after Soviet Union has fallen."

"Magical United Nations? Isn't ICW the magical equivalent of the UN?" Hermione was puzzled.

"It WAS equivalent of the UN. The official story is that after WWII many countries wanted changes in the law and schooling system which was exactly the thing you saw at Hogwarts. The reason was Grindevald, several hundred of his supporters has killed over ten thousand magical troops sent to stop him. Magicals fighting with the allies fought like... idiots for the lack of the better word. They sought a large scale battles where they charged their opponents and used non-lethal spells to subdue them. Grindevald's forces fought like a military, lethal spells, ambushes, team tactic, using cover, support fire etc. After the war many countries wanted to teach people how to actually defend themselves. The standard curriculum doesn't have ANY lethal spells in it, best thing you can get is Reductor curse and it's not required to pass your NEWTs. But the new ICW leader refused to change claiming that the spells they wanted to add were 'dark'. The result was that many countries have left the ICW. Right now the ICW consists of the countries from the Western Europe. There are some other countries outside Europe that have stayed like India, but they are a minority." Harry ended his lecture.

"I... I never knew that. I always thought that International in the ICW stands for the entire world." Hermione was shocked by the news. "Wait, you mentioned 'official' story, what is the unofficial one?"

"Do you know how the votes in the ICW are counted?" Hermione shocked her head. "It's quite peculiar, the British representative is voting for the US, Canada, Australia and several other places that are now independent states but were once British colonies. Same is for the Spain, France, Germany and Portugal. Many countries outside the Europe were 'allowed' to have a representative, but said representative has no real power. No sane governments wants to be part of a system like that so when a good excuse to rally the public showed up they took it and used it as a reason to leave. India has stayed because due to the voting system they have about a dozen votes, in the MUN they would have only one. Luna could probably explain better as she actually lived in a MUN country, I only visited several of them to see the differences."

"Luna? What did I miss by staying at Hogwarts?"

"Well... most courses are updated to match current scientific and magical knowledge. Arithmacy is done on the computers, astronomy uses modern telescopes including pictures from Hubble, potions includes chemistry, runes use CNC to create perfect words. Most difference is when you compare DADA courses, Hogwarts NEWTs are equal to the first three or four years. After that you cover 'light' lethal courses like Reductor or Bombarda. NEWT level education is centered around 'dark' curses, including the Unfogivables. As a part of the examination you are required to throw off the Imperius, to do that for the two years you take special potions to build up a resistance to the mind affecting effects. Right now I probably know more 'dark' spells than Bellatrix Lestrange. The schools also have various mundane subjects including physical education and sometimes martial arts. My school day lasted for nearly twelve hours, after that we were sent six hours back in time to give us additional free time for homework and fun." During the explanation Hermione eyes were widening with every second.

"And I missed all of that? Does Australia have similar schools?"

"As far as I know yes, they are part of the MUN. I do not know about the Time Turners, but from what I learned they are used in many larger schools."

"I. Will. Kill. McGonagall." Hermione was seething with anger. "Thanks to that bitch I have wasted seven years of my life on a substandard education! Let me guess, my NEWTs are not recognized outside ICW?"

"You need to pass additional tests, if you do you will be awarded with MUN OWLs... The NEWT level material is equivalent of the ICW masteries and even with the ICW mastery you might have problems passing some MUN NEWTs."

"If I knew... If I only knew I would have kicked McGonagall out faster that you can say Quidditch." When the anger has left Hermione she sat and buried her head into her hands sobbing quietly.

"So... a Time Turner and some school books for your late birthday gift?" Hermione nodded not removing hands covering her face. "Don't worry. From what I am hearing it could be good idea to learn some of this stuff myself. I can hire tutors for both of us and we can use a Time Turner to get enough hours in a day to do everything." Harry tried to cheer her up.

"Really? You would do that for me? After everything I did?" Hermione said through her tears.

"Hermione, name me one person from our year whose life wasn't ruined by the Ministry, Dumbledore or Voldemort." Hermione tried to open her mouth but Harry stopped her. "And Sally-Anne Perks doesn't count, she has left the Hogwarts after first year. Just one person." Hermione has closed her mouth and remained silent. "See? There isn't anyone like that. In a normal world Hogwarts would be closed the moment the Sorting is mentioned, the thing looks like a horror version of those various sociological experiments. Let's dump ambitious kids into one group, tell everyone (including them) that they are now evil and see how many of them succumbs to the peer pressure. That itself wouldn't be too bad, but add an evil idiot who gathers all of them to wage a war against everyone else for no good reason and you have our current situation."

Harry continued. "Average idiot on the street thinks that there were two sides in the war – Dark and Light. That's not true, there was over a dozen sides and factions. Dumbledore, the Ministry, Voldemort, neutrals, light neutral families, dark neutral families, bystanders, Death Eaters... what? Didn't you notice that most of them has dumped Voldemort the moment he dropped dead? I heard they claimed Imperious again... Finally there was me. I consider myself an independent faction in that war."

"But why are you helping me?" She asked Harry.

"The saying 'the enemy of my enemy is my friend' has no application in the Magical World, it should go something like 'the enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy, nothing more nothing less'. We were members of the opposite factions waging a war. Now that both of us has retired I see no reason to not try and mend fences, especially after I got my payback."

"You prat, I had to fuck old purebloods!" Hermione said in an accusatory fashion.

"It couldn't be as bad as fucking Weasley. And you said it yourself that you enjoyed parts of that."

"Hermione, I did not know you were into that kind of things." Luna choose that moment to join the discussion. "It is true what they say about the quiet ones. We should capitalize on that, I always wanted to try one of those cat suits. What about you Harry?"

"Uhm... I am fine, have fun both of you?" Harry said not being sure himself what did he mean by that.

"Yay! Let's raid some sex shops!"

Harry watched as Luna grabbed still sobbing Hermione and dragged her discussing differences between latex and leather on the way. He thought that it might not be the best way to deal with the PTSD but the Magical World was several centuries behind and they didn't even know what PTSD is, the therapy was as alien to them as 'elected kitty' or electricity. Fortunately he ordered some basic furniture for three rooms on the living floors so everyone had a place to sleep, he might as well start placing silencing charms on their rooms. Harry felt he would need them soon.

**()()()**

**2****th**** October**

**White Industries HQ, London**

**()()()**

"Harry, you should probably see this." Hermione said as she thrown a newspaper in front of him.

"What's that?"

"The Prophet has finally written about your little stunt with the Hogwarts Express."

"Lord Nabilius strikes again?"

"Not exactly... "

_**Magical Britain World's Prime Magical Nation.**_

_**By Randomina Reporterus**_

_The Ministry has finally announced the truth behind events that happened on the 1__st__ October, this is the official speech given by the Minister Scrimgeour in front of the International Confederation of Wizards._

"_Witches and wizards of the International Confederation of Wizards and our fellow guests. British brilliancy knows no bounds, our wizards and witches has created a device, which we called the Industrial Portkey It is named after Unspeakable William Industrious whose research was crucial in creating the device. The Industrial Portkey is capable of transporting incredibly large objects which we have proved by transporting the entire Hogwarts Express with everyone on board. By doing so we have literally reached a new height of magical knowledge as the Industrial Portkey has transported Hogwarts Express hundred and fifty thousand miles high in air. During the travel back to ground we have tested yet another device known as Magical Bird, it is a novel approach to personal travel and should test prove to be successful it should replace the traditional brooms. The Magical Bird accompanied the Hogwart Express during the way back and both of them had managed to achieve yet another miraculous feat - they had breached the sound barrier. Never before a magical vehicle has managed to accomplish such goals, proving once more British and ICW superiority over rest of the world, both muggle and magical."_

_More on Industrial Portkey and Magical Bird page 4_

_The New Height of Magical Knowledge page 9_

_The Unbreakable Sound Barrier page 17_

_Minister Scrimgeour Oration in front of the ICW page 12_

_International Reactions page 16_

"Wow, we are better than I know. Our portkeys have reached an altitude of hundred and fifty thousand miles."

"WHAT?" Hermione grabbed the newspaper out of Harry's hands and started reading.

"That's impossible Hermione. They simply made up all those numbers, wizards are terrible at math." Luna said.

"Check the international reactions, anything interesting?" Harry told her.

"Uhm... no, it looks like MUN representatives think it's a joke."

"It's not surprising, the relationship between MUN and ICW is a bit weird. The ICW thinks they are the Dumbledore and MUN is a Hogwarts first year while MUN considers the ICW a bunch of local kids who sometime visit them claiming their cardboard box is a spaceship. Fun to mention as an anecdote during conversation but otherwise not important enough to be reported in newspapers." Luna answered.

"So... what do we do?" Hemrione asked both of them.

"I don't know about you, but I am going to kill Snape... again." Harry said and left to plan yet another murder of his favorite potion professor.

**()()()**

**6****th**** October**

**New Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**()()()**

Isabella Zall was a very confused witch. Her entire adventure with magic was nothing but confusing. It has started in August when Professor McGonagall has showed up in front of her door and presented her with her Hogwarts letter. She then proceeded to prove that magic was in fact real by turning a table into a pig. The entire show was nothing more than a common trick, you couldn't kill and it the animal as it would turn back into a table, it would also turn back after some time as it wasn't something called 'permanent transfiguration'. Why did they teach such parlor tricks at the school she did not know. What was even more confusing was the reaction of her parents. She has never told them about the 'accidents' she had during her life, her mother was a psychiatrist and father was a psychologist, telling them that she has once managed to make things levitate to her would undoubtedly cause them to start some sort of treatment But now the professor from a real school of magic has proven that the magic was real and that their own daughter was a witch, their reaction was... calm. Such world changing event and they have treated it like yesterday news. Isabella knew her parents for her entire life and she had known that there were occasions when they were more surprised or shocked than that. It wasn't even case of shock as after Professor McGonagall has left they have behaved normally, asked her when she wants to go to the magical shopping district, does she want some sort of pet mentioned in the letter and casually started discussing costs of her endeavor into the world of magic.

The surprises didn't stop there. Less than a week after the not-so-world-shattering-news she was informed by an official Ministry letter that Hogwarts has been destroyed by some sort of a dark lord. Due to that the school year was suspended indefinitely. Her dreams of learning magic were shattered. The kids raised in the Magical World could get some help from their parents, she didn't have such possibility. No more than two weeks later the Ministry has announced that due to sudden influxof income Hogwarts will be rebuilt, it will take some time so new school year will start in October rather than in September. Isabella was overjoyed.

The happiness didn't last long, the Ministry and the magical parliament with a weird name announced a new law that prohibited muggleborns like Isabella from attending Hogwarts. Her parents only shrugged when they heard the news, saying something about taking them long enough. Isabella didn't understand why they meant by that. The very next day their house was visited by a very concerned Ministry employee who explained that a child without a proper magical education was a danger to itself and people around it, which was weird as Professor McGonagall said nothing like that. The Ministry employee then went around explaining that there was a loophole in the new law which they could use, obviously using such loophole was dangerous for his career and could get him fired so he would require a hefty financial compensation for the trouble. When her parents asked about the loophole the man has said that the new law applied to muggleborns, so if Isabella became a halfblood by a virtue of having a squib grandparent the law would no longer apply to her. Apparently it was quite common for squibs to venture into the non magical world so no one would see anything weird if her grandparent proved to be a squib. Her parents didn't give a definite answer and the man has left saying he will come tomorrow. Isabella pleaded to be allowed to attend Hogwarts, her parents said tentatively that they will do as much as they can.

If that was confusing, the second visit of the Ministry employee was outright crazy. The man shoved up without announcement right in the middle of their living room, before he could say a word two red beams of light hit him right in the chest. Isabella saw her parents, both of them with a wand pointed at the man now lying on the floor. Her mother muttered some words and the man started floating, he was then tied by some ropes and his wand flew from him to her mother. Isabelle's father told her to leave the room until they deal with the intruder. She complied but decided to eavesdrop on the conversation.

She heard her father saying something in a language similar to Latin followed by large amount of obscenities from their 'guest', the obscenities stopped as suddenly as they started. Then she heard her father explain the man in a very calm voice that he has entered their home uninvited and they are within their rights to blast him into pieces, she heard the man tried to argue but her father only explained that there won't even BE any investigation, the cleaning charms were perfectly able to remove unattached body parts and blood strains. Her mother has explained to the man that he will now make Isabella into a halfblood so she can attend Hogwarts, if he refuses they will go to DMLE and have him investigated for breaking attempt and attempted murder. The second charge won't last but it will be enough for investigation to start and the first one will be enough to have him fired. The man quickly agreed and then she heard a loud CRACK.

Her parents gave her a laconic explanation that they were magical and have left the Magical World after graduation. Some mysteries were finally resolved.

Her home was also visited by someone form Australian embassy claiming to represent a school which was an alternative to Hogwarts, she said she will be going to Hogwarts but her parents took the pamphlets and contact information just in case she changed her mind.

The trip was... interesting. It was the moment when Isabella decided that she was hit with the old Chinese curse and she is now living in the 'interesting times'. The train had teleported somewhere and started to fall down very fast, she saw Earth's curve from the window which meant they were very high. There was even a jet fighter flying next to them for a while, but she barely noticed that during the screaming. Before they crashed the train teleported again, this time back to the place they left. From the panic she could see the whole teleporting train wasn't something anyone expected to happen, yet the very next day the local newspaper announced that it was actually a planned test of some sort of weird named device and everything was 'under control'. If that was the 'control' Isabella didn't want to see the panic in the Magical World.

That wasn't the end of the confusion. The Hogwarts proved to be... weird. The castle was huge, four separate wings (three were under construction) and a huge tower in the center with a glass spire. She was told that it was the Headmaster's office. Then there was the sorting, apparently accommodation was decided by a piece of leather, well... talking piece of leather. The talking piece of leather told her she posses huge amount of bravery and that she will be housed for seven years in the Gryffindor tower.

Isabella and bravery. Two words she never expected to hear in a single sentence, unless the sentence was something like 'Isabella Zall lacks any kind of bravery'. The puzzle was solved the next day when Isabella met several girls from Slytherin, the supposed enemy of Gryffindors. The Slytherins insulted Isabella calling her a 'mudblood', she patiently asked what does than mean and then proceeded to explain that said word is stupid and they should use better insults than that. After discussion ended she was approached by a prefect from Gryffindor who started berating her for acting in a non-Gryffindor way. What she was told could be summarized that as a Gryffindor she should either act as a young dashing hero jumping into fray without question or be a damsel in distress ready to be rescued by a young dashing hero jumping into fray without question. Patient and calm discussion was either done by Ravenclaws or Merlin forbid – Slytherins. She thanked the man for advice and left. That was the day she finally understood how the test subjects from various experiments her parents mentioned felt. The 'experiment' she was now participating was probably test of so called pack mentality, she would either keep her keen and quite cunning mind and discuss rather than fight (not that she had anything against fighting, it's just she didn't know how she could fight without knowing any spells) or become a stereotypical Gryffindor who didn't know what the word 'diplomacy' meant, not to mention such difficult words like 'subterfuge' or 'nonviolent conflict resolution'. That was also the moment she started regretting going to that place.

But it still wasn't the end of her 'interesting times'. It was Friday, end of her first week in the castle. And last lesson they had that week – potions. She hated Snape but according to what she heard the man was headmaster's friend and there was no way to stop his bullying. Strangely all classes were well lit and new, this one had dark walls that looked ancient despite being in use for less than a week. It was also poorly ventilated despite being a potion classroom where such ventilation should be very important. 'Professor' Snape was walking around the class, praising Slytherins and taking away points from Gryffindors. He saw a potion made by Isabella, before she could finish the man told her that she failed the assignment and vanished the potion. Of course he also took some points for that. When she finished packing she saw Snape staring into a cauldron and praising the Slytherin boy that made the potion.

Then the potion exploded. Or better word would be erupted, there was a vertical stream of fire leaving the cauldron, melting Snape's head and leaving large scorch mark on the ceiling. She saw the now beheaded man falling on the floor, fortunately the wound was cauterized so there was no blood. The entire class was speechless. Isabella still shocked quietly sat behind her table and waited. Apparently someone has left to get help because several minutes later the Headmaster himself has entered the room, he quickly assessed the situation and calmly said.

"There is no need to worry, your professor will be alright. He is little indisposed but I am sure our new medical wing will have him fixed in no time." Isabella thought that the man was joking, Snape was dead and he treated it as a simple case of flu! There is no way they can fix that, not with his head being completely GONE. She wanted to stand up and shout that but then Headmaster said something else.

_Obliviate_

Isabella has peeked out from her cover to see her entire class gathered in two groups, both groups were staring at the Headmaster with a glassy eyes. The headless body of Snape was being levitated next to Dumbledore.

"That should be enough, you will remember that cauldron has exploded harming Professor Snape's face, he then left to the infirmary. Also the Gryffindors will now consider Headmaster Dumbledore to be the greatest wizard ever, the Slytherins will hate all muggleborns with passion. Both groups will ignore muggle world and think that it is beneath us in every way."

She couldn't believe it, the Headmaster was using some sort of mind control on the students. Isabella quickly got back into her 'cover' and hopes that Dumbledore won't notice her. She heard footsteps and door being closed, then her classmates started talking.

"Did you see his face when it blew up?"

"Yeah, hilarious."

"Let's go, potions are canceled."

Her classmates has left in two separate groups discussing latest 'event'. No one said anything about Snape missing his head.

She has made a decision, staying at Hogwarts could be bad for her mental health, all kind of mind control is. She skipped the meal and went to her dormitory to gather her things. Then she remembered that she won't get far away with the entire trunk, older students could shrink it but asking for it might alert them about her intentions. She only took a bag with money, both mundane and magical and then left.

Getting to London was surprisingly easy, Isabella used the Floo in a town near the castle to get to the Leaky Cauldron, from there she went to find a phone and called her parents.

Two days later Isabella boarded a plane going to her new school in Australia.

**()()()**

**7****th**** October**

**White Industries HQ, London**

**()()()**

"Damn it, he survived. AGAIN." Harry Potter shouted with anger in his voice.

"What is it Harry?" Hermione asked from her office.

"It's Snape. Yesterday he has died for the second time, yet today he is again 'teaching' as if nothing happened." Harry pointed at the screen he was looking at, there Hermione saw Snape in his classroom 'teaching'.

"Harry, we start hiring people in less than a week! You cannot bring surveillance from Hogwarts to the office!" Hermione scolded Harry.

"It's not my fault that computers in the living are are not yet working. Better tell me how is he doing that?"

"Didn't Voldemort teach you anything?"

"Horcruxes? But using them would cause him to become insane, despite what I think about Snape he is quite sane." Said Harry.

"From what you told me in our sixth year Riddle didn't find the whole ritual in the Restricted Section, maybe parts he found didn't work as intended? We will never know. Dumbledore has took those books from the library."

"And I have taken Dumbledore's private library. It is somewhere in those bags of goodies I have stolen during summer."

"Should I start looking for it?" Hermione asked him.

"Not now. I have some free time and I should know which bags are from Hogwarts. I will go through them, maybe I find something interesting."

"Before you go I want to ask you about something."

"What is it?"

"Well... I do not mind being CEO of your company, ten percent of shares and salary are nice but there is one thing... Hermione Granger is still a person of interest in the Magical World, while they do ignore mundane side of things it still leaves a chance that someone will notice that I work here..."

"Crap, I have forgotten about this." He said. "Do you have any idea? Of course you do, you wouldn't bring this up if you didn't have one."

"Well, I was thinking about using your own fake story, no one would ask many questions if you brought someone from your 'past' to lead your new company." Hermione explained.

"Good idea, Andromeda will create a fake identity for you. You are aware that it would mean no college education? Too much risk faking those."

"I am aware of that. I was hoping to get that as Hermione Granger after we catch up with our mundane education."

"Fine by me. Do you have a name for your alter ego? We will need a new door emblem."

"Danielle Watson. After my father and Doctor Watson from the Sherlock Holmes novels."

"I will contact Andromeda. She should have enough information before we start recruiting people." Harry said and started walking towards the elevator.

"By 'we' you mean 'me', right?" Hemione shouted after him.

"Sorry, can't hear you." Harry shouted while walking away.

"Damn him. Maybe that carrier wasn't a bad idea? I could always become a pirate. Hermione Granger, Captain Hermione Granger. Avast ye scurvy dogs!" Hermione conjured a leather tricorne and a cutlass, then went back into her office humming a song from a pirate movie she saw as a kid.

As Hermione was considering her career as a notorious pirate Harry was going through several bags of goods he got from Hogwarts. He skipped the bags with books from the library going for contents of the Headmaster's office and his private suite. Rather than take out one thing at a time like Hermione would do, he simply removed all the furniture and dumped contents of the bags in the middle of the living room. Several hours later when Hermione and Luna went back they saw Harry sitting on the floor and reading a large leather coated notebook, next to him was a large pile of various magical items and books. Hermione recognized many of those items from the Headmaster's office.

"I am not cleaning this." Announced Hermione right after entering.

"Spoilsport. What am I supposed to do with this cute maid outfit? No offense Harry, but you wouldn't look good in it." Said Luna, she then started searching the pile for something interesting.

"None taken. Did you know that Weasleys followed Dumbledore because he had blackmail material on them? He had stuff on more than half of the Boards of Governors, Fudge, Umbridge, Amelia Bones, Scrimgeour and many others that I barely know. The best thing, or worst depending on how you look at it, is that this stuff comes from the Dorea Potter nee Black, my Grandmother. Dumbledore killed her and my grandfather to get that information and blamed Deatheaters for the deed. Pity we can't use any of it." Harry closed the notebook as he said that.

"What about the Horcxuxes?" Asked Hermione.

"Nothing. Either Dumbledore destroyed that book or he kept it somewhere else." Harry answered and took something from the pile. "Sorry for the lack of a proper box, but here is your late birthday gift Hermione." Harry has handed Hermione a hourglass on a chain.

"Isn't it a Time Turner?" Luna looked at the gift.

"Probably the one I used in my third year, I doubt that Dumbledore actually asked anyone from DoM to borrow one for me." Hermione said while looking at it. "Thank you Harry, you know that best way to please a girl is by giving her a stolen and highly illegal magical item."

"Do you know what it means?" Luna said with excitement and started jumping.

"Uh? No? Besides giving us some free time to study?" Answered Hermione with a puzzled look on her face.

"No you silly, it means we can have more FUN! Imagine two Hermiones or two me having fun! I have to buy more outfits." Luna started listing the new outfits she would need.

"Wait Luna, you can't meet yourself when you use a Time Turners, Professor McGonagall told me that bad things happen if you do." Hermione interrupted her musing.

"Oh don't be silly. It's because many wizards are surprised, if someone looking like you entered the room you would assume it is some sort of an imposter and act accordingly. The school I went to used Time Turners every day to give us more free time, I have met my time clone many times and nothing bad ever happened, right Luna?" Luna turned around toward the door where another Luna stood.

"Right Luna. Come Hermione, we have to explore new possibilities this new toy gives us." The second Luna grabbed Hermione and started to lee with the first Luna trailing behind.

"Harry, aren't you going to tell them anything?" Shouted Hermione while being dragged away.

"Sure, have fun you three." Harry told them and grabbed another book from the pile.

"Us four you mean, the Time Turner still has some hours available and second Hermione can't wait to meet herself." The second Luna said.

**()()()**

**24****th**** October**

**White Industries HQ, London**

**()()()**

"Harry, come to bed. Nothing interesting is going to happen." Luna tried to get his attention while he was watching Dumbledore through cameras. "It's not that Dumbledore will have a meeting with his top lieutenants where he will discuss all his evil plans."

"Fine, it's late anyway." Harry agreed and left the monitor.

**()()()**

**15 minutes later**

**New Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Headmaster's office**

**()()()**

"I open this meeting with top lieutenants where we will discuss our evil plans. I propose to name our organization, maybe Council of Evil?" Many groans were heard.

"Kingsley, you do that every time we meet and every time we refuse." Lucius Malfoy said with an annoyed tone.

"Come on, we need a name. Every time I have to recruit someone in the Ministry to do something for us I have to came up with something, now I can use Order of The Phoenix as we have a Dark Lord around, but when he is removed I will again not be able to came up with a good organization name for agents."

"Kingsley, we don't need agents. We need minions, Order of The Phoenix is good enough banner to gather those so no, we won't choose such a cliché name." Kingsley's idea was shot down by Augusta Longbottom. "Why are you allowing him to go along with that anyway, Dumbledore?"

"It's amusing Augusta. I like the names Kingsley proposes. Now, let's get down to business. Kingsley?"

"The new batch of recruits have no muggleborns and only two half bloods among them, the rest are purebloods. Thanks to our brilliant potion professor no muggleborns graduated this year with scores allowing them to join." Several people were applauding him.

"Augusta?"

"The new Light sided faction is now taking shape. Due to my constant questioning of Albus policies I will be able to obtain an important position in the new faction. I will try to avoid becoming a leader, if asked I will cite my age as a reason to refuse."

"That's good to hear. How about the Dark side Lucius?"

"Nothing important is going on. My colleagues are happy about muggleborns no longer attending Hogwarts and due to our financial troubles many are looking up to me as I had enough assets outside Gringotts to survive without decreasing my spending. The only unknown is White, I tried to lure him into Dark camp but he didn't wish to commit himself."

"He is only one man Lucious, what he could do? Even with Potter vote he is no match for us."

"That is correct Augusta, but he could try to create his own faction."

"Impossible, the neutrals are incapable of working in a team and both Light and Dark sides won't suddenly side with a new camp."

Several other people joined the argument.

"Please, don't argue. Lord White is minor player in the Wizengamot, if he stays neutral he won't have an ability to pass any laws, to do that he has to join one of the major camps, both are controlled by us. Minevra, what about new students?"

"I am afraid we had a major mishap. One of the muggleborns appeared to be a half blood thus eligible to attend Hogwarts after the new law was passed. Unfortunately she has left after barely a week, she didn't take any possessions with her. Her absence wasn't noticed until next week, as far as I know she has left the day Severus had one of his 'accidents'. Albus, you have probably missed a student when you obliviated the class."

"That is bad. Were you able to bring her back?"

"No, when I arrived the house was empty. From the neighbors I have learned that occupants quickly packed and left several days earlier. From the Ministry I have learned that both her parents were actually magical so it's not the case of a fake squib ancestor."

"How much damage she could do to our plans?" Dumbledore asked.

"Almost none, no one would believe her."

"Then there is no point in pursuing her any longer, Severus what about our elusive Miss Granger?"

"Two perfect potions I brewed to localize her have failed, third one was perfectly brewed by an independent potion master and still failed to provide any information about her location. I am afraid that she is hiding under very powerful set of wards, something better than the cheap Fidelius."

"That's... unfortunate. Without Miss Granger we cannot pursue any of our plans."

"Headmaster... I believe we can fix that problem."

"What are you proposing Severus?"

"We could pull off a Crouch and use the Polijuice to impersonate Miss Granger, we have enough of her blood for more than hundred doses."

"That's still only a hundred hours, Severus." Malfoy pointed out.

"No if we add the blood to the potion right after brewing. This way a single drop of blood could be used to give us about twenty hours, more if I brew much larger batch. The largest cauldrons could be used to brew a batch lasting for over three hundred hours."

"That could work in the short run, but it could still be detected and after Crouch incident some people would notice Miss Granger drinking from a personal container."

"I do not plan to have our imposter work with the Ministry, I propose we have our imposter work with Lord Nabilius. We could hire some mercenaries and have 'Miss Granger' lead them in Lord Nabilius name. This way we destroy her credibility and force her to either return or to hide permanently allowing us to use her face with impunity."

'Hmm... yes, with the New Chosen One working with the Dark Lord she was destined to defeat. I can see people loosing hope and asking me for help. Do you have a specific target in mind Severus?"

"Hogsmeade Weekend in December, I will have enough time to brew the potion and the attack before Christmas will have much better effect."

"Very good, Kinsley could you send most troublesome muggleborn Aurors to protect the children that day? Good, we can have our Miss Granger kill the Aurors, this way we not only establish her working with Lord Nabilius, we also remove unwanted elements from the Auror force. Is there anything else?"

"What about Nerv?" Kinsgley asked.

"No, Kingsley. This name is even worse, what's next? Soul? Head?" This time McGonagall criticized him.

"Nerv? What does it stand for?" Asked Malfoy.

"Don't be silly Lucius, Nerv doesn't stand for anything." Kingsley answered him.

"Stop that Kingsley and Lucius, do not encourage him."

**()()()**

**25****th**** October**

**White Industries HQ, London**

**()()()**

"And that's what happened when we were having fun." Harry told as he turned off the recording.

'We we only have sound?" Luna asked.

"Some sort of privacy ward, Dumbledore probably figured out that having everyone see the meeting of his Council of Evil is not a very good idea."

"Gee, common sense, who could have expected that?" Luna muttered.

"Not much of it if he had the meeting where we could listen to him." Hermione pointed out.

"Please do not complain that our opponent is an idiot. While facing someone competent would be more interesting and satisfying, it would also be much more dangerous and troublesome. I like my Dark Lords to be simple guys, easy to deal with. But that's not everything, that's the part after Kingsley, Malfoy and Augusta left."

**()()()**

**24****th**** October**

**New Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

**Headmaster's office**

**()()()**

"Now, what do we do about our mysterious assassin?" McGonagall asked the two remaining men.

"I still think it's Potter. I even suspect he is actually the elusive Lord White."

"That is possible Severus, I might have to confront Lord White about this. Harry knew about Horcruxes, if he is now working against us he will notice that Severus survived two successful assassination attempts and will start searching for his Horcrux. He might still not know that we all had them made."

"Let's hope he concentrate on Severus then, I only have two and do not wish to loose any of them." Hermione almost shouted after hearing McGonagall say that.

"What are you planning to do Headmaster?"

"I think that a direct confrontation will serve the best, a confrontation in front of the Wizengamot. I will try to lure Lord White into swearing a magical oath to either prove or disprove that he is Harry Potter."

**()()()**

**25****th**** October**

**White Industries HQ, London**

**()()()**

"That's it. What do we do now?"

"That fucking bitch! She refused to give me a full access to the Restricted Section citing dangers of the Dark Magic and yet she has split her own soul using the darkest magic I heard about!" Hermione literally exploded. The following obscenities could make a sailor blush.

Harry on the other hand tried to calm himself and when Hermione finally stopped he calmed himself and said with the most serious tone he could muster.

"Hermione, language." Hermione looked at Harry.

"You... you... you waited seven years to tell me that." That was Harry's limit, he first started giggling then moved to a full blown laughter.

"I didn't know you could swear that well Hermione." Luna laughed.

"I... uhm... I don't have an excuse." Hermione slightly blushed and started laughing herself.

"Hermione, by now you ought to know that in the Magical World hypocrite and Light Wizards mean exactly the same." Luna pointed out when they all calmed. "Pity Quibbler was closed, the article about Dumbledore using the Inferi as teachers at Hogwarts would be an instant hit."

"Luna, you are a genius." Harry shouted and gave her a long passionate kiss.

**()()()**

**Some author notes.**

**The 'carrier' reference comes from chapter 2 where I made some spelling mistakes, rather than fix and forget I decided to go along with the 'joke' and edited that scene in Chapter 2. **

**While someone might complain how fast Hermione recovered I will only point out that wizards are immune to the PTSD (Harry doesn't know that), the Cannon supports that theory as well... just look at all those death defying things they do in all those books, yet as far as I remember no therapy is ever mentioned. **

**The Horcruxes are quite amusing in fanfictions, in some every second person knows about them, I am waiting for some parody where Tom for the Leaky Cauldron mentions casually 'oh, you mean like Horcruxes? You know, the stuff where every second Dark Lord keeps part of his soul so he doesn't die?'. In some Bill knows about the because 'ancient Egyptians used them', if so then why there are no ancient Egyptian Dark Lords running around? The Horcrux run out of batteries or something? In my story Horcruxes were developed by Dumbledore and Grindevald, Dumbledore kept Grinevald alive because he couldn't find his Horcrux. The one thing that Horcrux doesn't protect from is natural death from old age, hence the imprisonment of Grinevald. Riddle was set up from the start, the only failure was that Dumbledore wanted him to fight against pureblood supremacy. **

**Hermione and Harry studying won't turn them into some sort of super wizards capable of obliterating entire armies.**


End file.
